


In The Heat of The Moment

by alex4968



Series: In The Heat of The Moment [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Louis is a bit of a homewrecker, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Switch!Liam, The lilo is very breif, artist!zayn, bottom!Zayn, but I thought I'd still tag it anyway, ceo!liam, liam wears a suit most of the time, tags will be updated as the chaps get published, the slowest of burns, top!Louis, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-06-07 00:30:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 36,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6776950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex4968/pseuds/alex4968
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The first thing that came to Zayn’s mind when he read Liam Payne’s file was that he was certainly, definitely going to die before he was thirty. The word they used in The Office for such a case was reckless; reckless meant that, perhaps, the person wasn’t at fault, but the universe and said person’s energy didn’t happen to match. That made terrible things happen to that person.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>Liam Payne was a classic case of recklessness.</i></p><p> </p><p>[or: A modern times AU where Zayn is a guardian angel and he's been sent down to protect the most reckless human he's ever met.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

_A ship came in, but it was empty;_  
_And then it sailed back out to sea again._  
_Now there's the sail on the horizon,_  
_And now I wait until your ship comes in._

**-** 'Port Of Lonely Hearts',Johnny Cash

 

ZAYN

 

“So,” He started, elbows on the table as he leaned forward. There was a long since forgotten basket of chips sitting on the table that he was sure were cold by now, yet they seemed to be the most interesting thing to look at. Considering his choices, at least. Louis Tomlinson was his boss, of sorts, as well as the person sat across from him. (Maybe boss wasn’t the right word, but either way, he had to listen to him.) This was one of the few things that Zayn would have liked to change about the predicament he’d been dealt, but that was something he would deal with later.

Maybe. He’d been telling himself that for a very long time.

The only thing that was wrong, really, with the idea of _Louis Tomlinson_ being his boss was one thing: the only thing that had ever been consistent in the time they’d known each other was the way they’d always made each other’s existence miserable. It had started when they were first assigned to each other, as partners, and then it progressed and progressed until he was promoted and Zayn was left sitting in the dust.

That was the peak of their feud.

“So.” The other man continued, taking a too-long drink from his soda before looking up with a sly smirk.

“You’ve assigned me an impossible job.” It was starting to make Zayn warm with anger at how calm and content Louis looked as he sat, legs crossed and body language saying nothing of the exasperation he himself was feeling.

“No, I assigned you _a_ job. That you will do, Zayn.” The way he said his name had always irked him, as if he was saying it for the simple reason that he wanted to make sure he was listening. But really, he knew it was because Louis knew that he hated it when people repeatedly addressed him as his name. It was one of his pet peeves.

Louis was a pet peeve, too, it seemed. Just. All of him.

“He’s _reckless,_ Louis. Three others turned this job down –“

“That’s why I assigned it to you, Zayn. You can’t turn it down.” His voice was laced with that terrible tone of certainty and Zayn wanted to hit him. (Even if he physically couldn’t ever bring harm to another being, the urges sometimes still rose to the top of his mind. It was a lot more frequent than he’d ever admit, actually.)

“There’s got to be someone else who’s willing to take it.” A final plea. Ignored.

“Don’t let him die, Zayn.” That was the last thing he said, and Zayn knew there wasn’t a point in arguing with it. If he tried to argue it was likely he’d just be _assigned_ something equally or more impossible – so he just kept his mouth shut and watched as Louis slid out of the booth and turned down a fiver for his drink.

He wouldn’t so much say that he hated Louis Tomlinson, but if he could punch him down to Hell, he might actually think about it.

 

The first thing that came to Zayn’s mind when he read _Liam Payne_ ’s file was that he was certainly, definitely going to die before he was thirty. The word they used in _The Office_ for such a case was reckless; reckless meant that, perhaps, the person wasn’t at fault, but the universe and said person’s energy didn’t happen to match. That made terrible things happen to that person.

Liam Payne was a classic case of recklessness.

It started when he was seven and fell down and broke his arm when he was riding his bike. After that, it seemed like there was something that _someone_ from the department had had to help him with ever since. If there was anything Zayn was dreading in that very moment, it was the idea that the responsibility of this kid’s life was in his hands.

Fate, he’d learned, wasn’t something that liked to be messed with. If something was going against what was _meant_ to be happening, there were to be consequences. In the older times, humans could get hurt and then they’d actually learn from a mistake. But in modern times, it was a little harder. They seemed to always find a way to heal themselves up and just continue doing whatever it was that they were doing – _again._ Maybe he was a little biased because of all the times he’d had to run to the rescue of some poor human who made a stupid mistake of doing something that was _stupid._

But really, it was all fate. If someone did something that they weren’t supposed to, whether that be something that was going to alter their future should they continue or whether that be something that could lead to simply a change of mind, he wasn’t sure. But one thing he was sure of was the fact that it never turned out right.

So, at least his conclusion could be that Liam Payne was somehow, some way, not fitting into the mold of a person that the universe intended for him to be. It wasn’t an easy fix. Really, figuring out and assisting a human to _comply_ with their fate was the hardest job his kind had to do.

Point: Fuck Louis Tomlinson.

 

When he’d first been told about all of this, it was very shortly after his own death. The system was rather simple now that he looked back on it, but back then he could only remember the intense fear and confusion.

He hadn’t felt the pain of dying; he just remembered very slightly of being shot at by the enemy’s army. That was then. Now, he could pinpoint the exact memories, but that was something he didn’t like to think about. When he’d first come to consciousness – if he could even call the big “wake up” after death _consciousness –_ he was sat in a large room with three pairs of eyes staring at him. One woman, two men.

“Watcher.” The first had said, and all he could think to do was gape. Mouth opening and closing somewhat like a fish.

There was a pause, then, after she’d spoken, and the other two nodded before leaving and he was left alone with her.

“Zayn Malik.” She spoke and cut him off before he could ask how on _earth_ she knew his name when he was certain he’d never seen her before. “I hate to be the one to break it to you, but, you’ve reached the end of your mortal life.” She spoke with a kind of sympathy that, even now, Zayn couldn’t pretend he thought was fake.

“What?”

“You’re in the afterlife, now. I know that it is a bit much to take in, so I’ll allow you time to process. When the sun returns to the high sky tomorrow, return here. You will be assigned a job as a watcher with your partner, Louis Tomlinson.” He hadn’t had time to ask any questions then, just left alone after the clacking of her heels was gone out of the too-large door.

 

If Zayn had to pick any one thing that he could say he missed the most, perhaps he would be so rash as to say the quiet. Thoughts like that were always the things that buzzed through his head when he found himself back in the city. He, just like many others of his profession, tended to hide away from the biggest parts of human civilization until they were needed.

It was overwhelming, sometimes.

In every corner of the world there seemed to be this constant buzz of life and energy and _movement_ that throughout the years had slowly began to grind down on the thinning fibers of his nerves. There wasn’t a moment of the day that there was true silence. Even in the deepest times of the night there would still be someone on the street, which meant that Zayn had an obligation to be there, too.

His job, even if he’d recently been assigned to watch over one specific human, was really just to protect all of them. Anyone he could help. Sometimes in stories he was referred to as a Guardian Angel. The title was nice. Having wings would be nice. But, of course, the things that he wanted out of being dead tended to not be in his favor. He didn’t get his wings and Louis had said he never would. (But, once Louis had said that, he asked someone else because, well.)

But, really, it was all a part of him. Even if he could complain about it in every way and moan and whine about the fact that he was suffering to the advantage of the humans, he couldn’t say he didn’t love it.  

If it wasn’t there, he thought, he’d have to question who – and _what –_ he was. It was a simple fact really; without the humans, he wasn’t valuable. Humans have a tendency to find themselves in deeper troubles than they can handle, and his job – along with many others – was simply to get them out of those situations, preferably alive.

 

Even if the whole _alive_ thing sometimes didn’t work out.

 

He spent the rest of the night reading through Liam Payne’s file. Files for the humans were such odd things to read because, really, there was nothing else like them. For each human, there were two. There was the main file which included everything that person had _done,_ and the second, which was everything that person had ever _thought._ The second files were very rarely touched, perhaps out of a sense of personal privacy, or maybe out of laziness.

He’d only had to read one once, when he and another Watcher were given the task to decide if a man needed to be sent to hell or could be assigned a job for his afterlife like he’d been. (As soon as he’d read about how many times that man had thought about killing his wife before he’d _actually_ done it, he made his decision.)

But, Liam Payne’s life genuinely was a misfortunate one.

He seemed like the kind of person who wanted to try everything, to experience everything he could at least once, but, he really needed to quit. From his earliest primary years, he’d started in sports. Six broken bones within eight years. Plus at least five sprains and one time he’d needed stitches. That was all before he’d managed to get to uni.

Once uni came, he’d somehow managed to get himself _stuck_ on the edge of a cliff when climbing in the Himalayas during spring break. Zayn couldn’t do much except rub his temples as he continued reading. That was the section that was noted as him finally earning the consideration of a watcher being assigned to him. He was just _that_ reckless.

But, of course it continued.

There were various fights he’d managed to get in to, a few times he’d gotten too drunk to think to sleep right and almost choked on his own vomit. Once he’d fallen asleep in the bathtub and almost drowned.

 

Zayn needed a drink. So he stood, walking to the far edge of his newest London flat and poured himself a drinking glass of rum. Maybe a shot glass would have been a bit more acceptable, but, this was just too much.

But he continued reading once he’d downed about a third of his glass, and finally – finally – the writing stopped.

The final near death experience his newest assignment had run into was just about four months ago. He’d walked out on a cross walk (albeit, it was flashing the _walk_ symbol) and a car ran into him, breaking three of his ribs.

That was the most recent injury, and it seemed like at this point, Zayn’s primary goal was literally just to keep him alive.

 

It was another month before Zayn had actually managed to figure out where this Liam Payne even was. He’d had to resort to reading his thought file to find the name of a restaurant he’d wanted to go to, and he’d been there, waiting, until finally he’d shown up.

Some “Guardian Angel”, he’d started to think after an hour of sitting there. He couldn’t even find who he was supposed to be watching.

But once he’d walked in, there was a kind of relief that Zayn wasn’t sure he’d felt in quite a while. He looked healthy, happy, and had a girl with him. He seemed like he was safe enough, but, a job is a job.

 

He listened a while, picking up on enough of the conversation to find out that the woman was his sister, and it was her birthday. They were celebrating and that made Zayn suddenly feel a bit nervous. What if he started drinking? Would that mean that he would be more of a threat to himself? What if – no. The what if wasn’t something he needed to worry about.

Louis had said to keep him alive.

He was alive.

For now.

 

“You do know you’re going to have to speak with him, yes?” Harry was one of the very few people he knew who’d died and weren’t assigned a job on earth. He was the person who got to show the newest of the dead to their homes that weren’t on earth.

It wasn’t called Heaven, really. No one called it that. It was just a place where everyone went after death. It looked like earth. Just cleaner.

“Eventually.”

“No, Zayn, you’ve been pushing it off three months now. We’ve all been watching you from up here and nearly tearing our hair out.” Harry had one of the strongest British accents of a thousand-years-dead person he’d ever met. The accents usually faded, but his never did.

“I know, I know.” He groaned, resting his head down on the table. “Tomorrow. It’s past midnight on earth now.”

“Tomorrow.” Harry agreed and ran his fingers through his hair.

 

Maybe he had been putting it off. Maybe. But, there was only one problem with the prospect of talking to Liam Payne: he got nervous and sweaty whenever he was too close to him and had to go somewhere empty so he could change to being un-seen. (He did have that ability, to choose if he wanted to be seen or remain invisible to the humans. But, if he did it in a fairly populated area, the risk of someone seeing was too great.)

So, the day after he’d agreed to speak to Liam Payne, he was a sweaty, nervous wreck, and invisible to him.

So, there was that.

But he had to, especially since he’d told Harry he would. That meant he was probably in the screen rooms watching him, just to make sure he was actually keeping his end of the bargain. He certainly didn’t hate Harry Styles, but it was moments like this when he wasn’t entirely sure he was too fond of him, either.

 

It was a half an hour before he migrated into the bathroom and went visible to his human co-existors and came out.

No one questioned it.

Except maybe one old woman with one of her grandchildren sat in her lap as he walked out without purchasing anything. Maybe human habits were a little odd to him, like, buying something every time that he walked into a building.

 

He found his way to the building Liam Payne worked at within another five minutes. Within those five minutes he’d managed to think of at least a hundred reasons why it was a bad idea to go into his place of work. None of them were logical reasons that could actually keep him from going in, but, he sure did try.

He thought he deserved something for his effort.

 

The building Liam Payne worked at – or rather, owned, was quite nice. He was the CEO of the company, doing something with international relations that Zayn hadn’t cared to read in to before he got bored.

It had a coffee shop in the bottom floor as well as a little café, so, in another attempt to waste time, Zayn found himself walking towards the coffee shop and ordering his usual triple shot latte.

Caffeine couldn’t kill him if he was already dead.

Once it was done, he slipped the barista her money, with a tip, and walked off, perhaps to find something that was of relevance that he could be doing – to make it seem like he had a _reason_ to be here – before he felt something very hot on his front side and he blinked up at – Liam Payne.

They’d ran right into each other, Zayn lost in his thoughts and Liam lost in his cell phone. Of course, the other man was apologizing repeatedly, but, Zayn didn’t know how to speak all of a sudden.

Maybe that could kill him, if the caffeine wouldn’t.

“I’m so sorry – I didn’t – I wasn’t watching where I was going. Oh my god, I’m sorry. Here, um, I’ve got an extra shirt in my office, or I could buy you a new one. Are you hurt? Oh, no, I’m so sorry.” Liam Payne had a very nice voice when he was speaking directly to him. Zayn had never really paid much attention to his voice before.

“No, really, it’s alright. Nothing expensive.” He said with a smile, once the words had finally come back to his mind and he wasn’t just staring like he was lost.

“But, it’s still got coffee spilled all over it. Coffee! Oh, no, let me buy you another.” Wow. He had a _really_ nice voice.

“It’s alright – really.” Liam physically relaxed. The tension in his shoulders deflating when he realized that Zayn wasn’t going to get angry about the coffee.

Thought: Liam’s stress will probably lead to some health problems later.

Second thought: Fuck, he’s got pretty eyes.

 

“I’m Liam.” He said with a smile, putting his hand out. Oh, great, now he has to touch him too.

“Zayn.” He said with a smile, even if his palms were sweaty, and shook his hand. Liam didn’t notice the sweaty palms, or, if he did, he pretended not to.

“Come up to my office. You can have my extra shirt. Really. It’s the least I can do.” He agreed. Maybe because he had a very white shirt on with a now very large and obvious stain on the front, or maybe because he actually didn’t mind talking to Liam.

He’d never admit the latter.

 

They walked to the elevators in silence, and Zayn suddenly felt the need to at least say _something_ that could maybe break the ice. Maybe. “You work here?” He did, after all, at least sound like he didn’t know every personal detail of the other man’s life. That definitely held the possibility of making things a little awkward.

“Oh,” Liam said with a light blush on his cheeks and a little laugh, “I’m the founder.”

“Really? I’m sorry – I didn’t know.” This was boring. But Zayn was very good at pretending his didn’t know things when he actually did. He’d learned that from Louis.

“That’s alright. You just came in here for coffee, then?”

“Yeah, I’ve been in here a few times.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you.” Liam had a beautiful smile.

Oh, god.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” He returned the smile, following Liam Payne out of the elevator when it _binged_ and the doors parted, opening to his office.

Fancy.

“The shirt is right over in my desk. I’ll just. Yeah.” Zayn couldn’t help the little laugh and smile he gave at Liam’s awkwardness; he really wasn’t sure how to act around humans. With the dead, it was so simple. Everyone could hear what the other was thinking, so there was never anything left unsaid.

He couldn’t hear what Liam Payne was thinking. He realized that with a sudden wave of anxiety. He hadn’t been able to hear any of his thoughts for the entirety of the time that he’d been watching over him. That wasn’t something he thought was supposed to happen, and he’d definitely have to ask Harry about it later.

Or just go back and read what he’d been thinking earlier.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it.” He said when Liam handed him a new shirt, white just like the one he’d been wearing. But it looked much nicer.

“It’s no problem. My fault. Really.” Zayn just smiled that time, because he could tell that Liam was still a bit apologetic about having spilled the coffee on him, but he was done saying sorry. That was a step at least.

He didn’t want to leave, though. And the problem was that it felt like that was what he needed to do.

“I’ll let you get back to your work, then?” He asked after a moment, but once he’d said the words he watched as Liam sucked a lip between his teeth. It seemed that they were in a similar situation, neither sure of what to say.

Zayn wished he could hear his thoughts.

“I’m off, actually. But I’ll walk you out.”

“Sure. Alright.” He’d spoken to him. Zayn had done what Harry had wanted, that was enough for one day.

 

But, maybe it wasn’t.

He found himself back, visible, at Liam’s work two days later. He was standing in line to get another coffee – again with the feeling like he needed a reason to be there – and thinking about what he was going to get for lunch when he heard his name.

“Zayn, hi.” It was Liam. “How are you?” A pause. “Wait, is that weird? Is this – I’m sorry. I just. Thought I’d say hi.” Zayn smiled.

“No, not weird at all. Hi, Liam. I’m doing well, how are you?”

“I’m well. Yeah. Thanks.” Zayn wasn’t entirely sure what to think when his name was called and Liam slipped a five dollar bill to the barista before he could, but the smile on Liam’s face was enough to convince him not to argue with it. Instead, he just shook his head with a laugh.

 

“How often do you come in here?” Liam asked, opting to sit with him with a coffee of his own and just make small talk. He was on his lunch break, he’d said. It was only noon. Maybe he did that on purpose.

Maybe.

“Sometimes every day. Sometimes just two or three times a week.”

“That’s.” Liam paused, like he wasn’t entirely sure of a word to describe the awkward habit of going to a building he didn’t work in to buy a coffee every day. “Nice. I’m glad you like it here.”

“Yeah, it’s really nice. Quiet.”

“What do you do for a living?” Oh. It was _that_ talk. Zayn had gotten this talk far too many times in his years, and he was – slowly – growing tired of answering the same questions over and over again. But, it seemed like Liam was genuinely interested. Like he was actually _listening_ instead of just making small talk.

“I’m an artist. I sell my art online and stuff. I’ve done a few murals, or whatever.” That was true. Zayn drew and painted a lot in his free time – a lot more than maybe he should. Because, really, he didn’t have all that much free time.

“Oh, wow! That’s really cool. Are there any in town?”

“Yeah, you know that park about three blocks from here? I did the mural on the side of the brick wall near the bridge. With the mermaids?”

“That’s… Incredible. I drive by that every day on my way here – you’re quite talented.”

“Thank you.” A pause. He took a drink of his coffee. “What do you like to do?”

“Um, I love to read. I love kids. A lot of things, I suppose. I’m not the kind to really take to one hobby.”

“I can imagine you don’t have a whole lot of time, with running all of this and all.”

“You’ve definitely hit the nail on the head with that one.” Liam laughed and glanced at his watch.

Both of them pretended it wasn’t already 12:45 and continued talking.

 

Liam didn’t leave until well past one – and Zayn had apologized several times for keeping him – but over and over Liam just said, “I never did much care for following the rules.” Well, if he was actually paying any attention to his job, that would but him. But for now, he didn’t care at all.

 

“Anyone care to explain why I can’t hear _my_ assignment’s thoughts?” He asked, finding himself back in _The Office Upstairs_ (as they, so originally, called it) with an angry tone. Louis laughed. Of course Louis laughed. “How am I supposed to help him the best I can if I can’t hear his thoughts?” His palms were sweating again.

Harry looked pale, and the woman from the very first day he’d gotten here had her arms over her chest. Maybe he really should have just shut up.

“Well, it looks like – “

“Shut up, Tomlinson.” Aurora was her name. She was a beautiful woman, really, with long brown hair and these stunning green eyes that he wasn’t sure he could ever tire of. She was the kind of beautiful that was truly rare to come across. “Zayn, come take a walk with me.” She said with a gentle smile, but Zayn didn’t feel like he should be smiling. That didn’t stop him from going, of course, but something did feel wrong.

They walked together outside of the building and down the road. It was beautiful in the afterlife. He really had always thought it would be, but it was far beyond what he’d expected. The sidewalks were brick, the kind he’d seen in the earliest roads when he’d been alive, and the buildings had a nice, old feel to them that made him feel like he fit in. His age never had been an issue to him, really, since he’d died young and beautiful (so he’d been told), but there were times when he worried that modernization would overwhelm him.

It didn’t. Not here, at least.

“Zayn,” Aurora started, voice flat. That made him nervous. She only spoke in a flat voice when something was wrong, and even if he wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong, he knew there had to be something. She wouldn’t have just asked him to leave the office and take a walk if there wasn’t something potentially personal that she wanted to talk about.

That made him more nervous than he would have liked to admit. Losing his job wasn’t really a threat – not in this world, since every job that was assigned was permanent unless the person requested there to be some kind of change. But. He worried.

“Yes?”

“You said you are unable to hear Liam Payne’s thoughts, yes?” She looked forward, but Zayn looked down. She was wearing flats. In all of the years he’d known her, she’d only worn flats about a dozen times. She looked nice in them; not too tall, not to short.

He really needed to think straight.

“Yes, that’s correct.” Her lips pursed slightly. (Probably because he was thinking about her).

“That’s an issue.” A pause. “See, you’re one of our more gifted thought – seers. You and Mr. Styles certainly brought a gift with your deaths, since you are so in touch with what everyone else is thinking. Most of us can hear a slight mumble of though, perhaps the vibrations or just feel the emotions. But, as I’ve heard you say many times, you can hear the full words and sentences correct?”

“Yes.” She paused again. He’d never known before that he held a talent that others didn’t. He’d always thought everyone could do what he did. Maybe he was happy just because he knew that Louis couldn’t do what he could. But he wouldn’t say that. Not now, at least.

“Neither you nor Mr. Styles can hear his thoughts. I cannot. No one that we’ve sent after him has been able to do so, and it’s worrying.” He was almost going to ask why it was worrying, but as usual she answered his question before he could ask it. “It could, perhaps, be a sign that he isn’t human.”

Oh.

“What do you mean?” If he wasn’t human, why would he even have been assigned to watch over him? It made no sense to be put in charge of watching over a non-mortal beings life. He was supposed to watch over humans, not any other beings.

But the only non-mortal being he’d ever heard of was what he was. The undead souls that were still able to roam the earth and help the humans. But. Liam’s energy didn’t feel dead. He felt like he was alive and buzzing, still. It confused him. Maybe he just had a different kind of energy that wasn’t compatible with anyone who’d tried to read his thoughts that kept them from being able to. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to speculate on it; things like that had the ability to drive him genuinely mad.

“Well, we aren’t entirely sure for now. It will take much further investigation, of course.”

“What does this mean for me?” It was a sort of desperate question, almost. If he didn’t have a job, he wasn’t really supposed to go on earth and bug the humans without permission. He really did want to continue watching over Liam, human or not. He was interesting.

“I’d like for you to continue to watch over him for now, just in case he does turn out to be human. But, if he does find trouble or get in a situation where his life is jeopardized, your job is changed.” She paused. Zayn didn’t even start to ask. “You’re to let him die. If this is to happen, I want you to guide his soul back here.” It was something that was rare, to be led here by a watcher. There’d only been fifteen souls that had been led here directly instead of having to find their own way. Those were the people who had some kind of unique human quality that led the watchers to believe that they would have some kind of incredible quality after death.

Harry had been one of those fifteen, having been a general of one of the earliest British armies. He’d been in so many situations where he _should_ have died and didn’t – even without the help of a watcher – that he’d gotten himself a special place in The Office. He’d been one of the six of fifteen cases that genuinely did have a gift.

Harry could read thoughts – apparently as well as Zayn could – but he could also alter them. Some said it was a demonic quality, but Zayn had always just thought it was incredible. If Harry didn’t want a human to remember something, they wouldn’t. If he wanted them to think something happened that didn’t, they would. It was quite the power.

“And if he doesn’t face such a situation?”

“It will, eventually. You said it yourself, he is quite reckless.”

 

Zayn left that day and decided to sleep in his home away from Earth. It was a beautiful place – something he’d changed recently, only about two hundred years ago – and he’d always found a kind of comfort by being in it. It gave him time to think. Time to sort his thoughts out.

It had been so long since he’d been _home._ The place was the exact same as he’d left it; the same pictures on the walls, the same piano in the foyer, the same light fixtures, the same kitchen, the same bedrooms, the same everything. But he felt like a stranger. Something felt wrong.

His job wasn’t always what he wanted it to be – even if helping people was his passion – but he’d never been told to let someone die.

He didn’t want Liam to die. Even if it meant he would wind up in the afterlife with him; such a thought was dangerously selfish, terribly cold, and something he’d never wish upon another person.

That had always been something he’d loved about his job: keeping the humans on earth and getting a chance to prevent anyone from dying before they were supposed to.

He fell asleep with a twisting feeling in his stomach.

 

 

LIAM

There was a certain schedule that Liam had found himself following ever since he was a teenager, and even the smallest of interruptions in it could throw off the entirety of his day. This was a kind of compulsion that he knew could be considered unhealthy, but it had just been a part of him for so long that the prospect of changing it now seemed, well, not like something he’d enjoy.

It had started simple. He’d begin every morning at six with a two mile run, then move on to breakfast and a shower, and then he’d go to work. After work, he’d read for a bit and then play on his laptop or watch telly and then be off to bed. Then he began to find that his mood would be off if he were to miss his run, or if he didn’t shower after breakfast instead of before. His mum had always found the behaviours to be a little strange; so did he.

But no one said anything until the behaviours were so concrete into his schedule that he nearly couldn’t change them.

But, in the most recent days, he’d found that longer and longer parts of his day were occupied with thoughts of a strange boy who’d caught and held on to his attention in a strong way that he’d never felt before. Instead of his mood being upset by missing something, he found he was alright with it. If the space was filled with the thoughts of high-combed hair and sparkling brown eyes, it was alright.

He was intrigued by this boy. Dangerously so.

 Zayn was his name. Maybe it was his name – something so unique and beautiful that fit such a unique and beautiful boy – that intrigued him. But his personality was so perfectly compatible with his own that he felt he could talk with him for hours. The small moments that he’d spent talking to him had felt like long enough that he’d known him for an eternity. It was just a feeling that he was certain he’d never experienced before; a kind of complete and total enjoyment of being around someone else that he’d never thought he _could_ experience before. Normally he found a kind of irritation in interacting with people when he didn’t have to.

This was just a kind of strange situation that he really had to think about.

 

His morning run had slowly gone from two miles to one since he’d stayed up so late the night before thinking about the man. He had nice hair that he wanted to touch, wanted to run his fingers through or maybe pull on if they ever – Those were the really dangerous thoughts. The times when his mind would wonder to being beneath him, the marks he could leave so beautifuly on tan skin. Liam knew he wasn’t supposed to have thought like that, but there was something about the man that made his heart flutter and his head spin just by thinking about him.

In his own defense, he really couldn’t help it.

So, maybe that was why he was so upset when he wasn’t around during his lunch break that Monday. He was certain that Zayn had said he came around on Mondays no matter what – but, he’d probably just heard wrong. Still, he sat down at the café and ate a basket of chips before he was forced to get back into the elevator and find his way back to his office and back to his work.

 

He didn’t work.

 

Once the night came, he almost regretted never getting Zayn’s phone number, or even asking for it. He thought, briefly, about how the other man would react if he asked. Would he be awkward about it? Would he be okay with it? It was such a dilemma every time that he found that he was fond towards another boy.

Really, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be romantically involved with Zayn – even if the other man was, by some chance, gay – just because he didn’t want to risk the chance that they would have a fall out if something were to happen. There was something in him that wanted Zayn to be there always, friend or not.

He groaned loudly and fell back on his bed when he got home. His apartment suddenly felt too big and like it was too much space for one person to take up all by themselves. Maybe he’d get a roommate.

Or maybe he’d just go to sleep and shake off this feeling of loneliness.

Yeah, that was the best idea.

 

Tuesday came and Liam was just thankful that he didn’t wake up tired. He’d fallen asleep at a reasonable time, even if his thoughts had been plagued with anxiety, and managed to get up in time to make his run and do everything that he needed to within his schedule. It felt good. He didn’t even think about Zayn _once,_ not until he made his coffee and remembered how he’d spilt some all over the other man and the happy memory that made him laugh suddenly just made him feel lonely again.

He really hoped that Zayn would show up at lunch today, or even just when he was about to get off. Perhaps it was slightly unhealthy with how attacked he could already feel himself getting, but he wasn’t entirely sure how - or if - he could stop it.

So, when he walked into his work and saw the other man sitting in the just opened café with a book opened and eyes glued down to it. He walked over, ordering a coffee and pulling a chair up to sit with Zayn. “Good morning.” He started with a smile.

“Good morning.” The other man said, finally putting his book down when he realized he was there. “I figured I’d come in early today, since I won’t be able to make it for lunch. Wanted to say hello since I couldn’t yesterday. That’s not weird, is it?” There was a smile on the other man’s face. It took Liam a long moment to realize that he’d been making fun of what he’d said that first day that he went up to the other to try and make small talk, but once he had, he couldn’t help but laugh, too.

He almost found himself saying that he missed him. That was not a thought that he wanted. Not at all. He didn’t want to get attached.

Fuck.

“How was your weekend?” He asked, elbows moved to the table and smile on his face. He’d always been a morning person, as long as he’d slept well the day before. This morning wasn’t any different.

“It was really nice, actually. How was yours? Do anything interesting?”

“I slept a lot, actually.” Liam said shamelessly. He had. He’d slept too much and done far too little work for what needed to be done.

“Same, honestly. Didn’t get much of anything done.” Liam smiled at the similarity between the both of them. It felt amazing to have someone he could just talk to instead of have to impress. He considered inviting Zayn to spend time together properly, rather than just for a few minutes during his far-too-short breaks from his work. But he wouldn’t have had a single clue as to what he would say to propose such an offer, so he didn’t.

“Sounds like a proper weekend then, yeah?” Sleep-in weekends really were the best weekends. That was just a fact not many people could deny.

“Yeah, for sure.”

 

There were parts of his life that Liam could not remember. He could see photographs of the things that had happened, hear vivid stories of it told by someone who’d been there with him, but some things he just didn’t have the capability of remembering.

His mother had put him in a kind of cognitive therapy in an attempt to fix the gaps and holes in his life when he was a teenager, but even that hadn’t helped. All he’d managed to do was come to terms with the fact that there were things – even a few big, life-shaping things – that he just wouldn’t remember. Listening to the stories being told was the closest he’d ever get to really being able to, so it was more often than not that he’d have someone re-tell the story of something he’d heard before.

But in the night sometimes, his mind would wonder. He’d think of different reasons or different ways that could make sense of why he would just have so many gaps between the moments in his life.

If the stories that anyone else had told him were true, it wouldn’t make any sense that his brain would want him to forget. His therapist had said that sometimes a person can forget something involuntarily as a sort of defense mechanism. But something like his first real football game or his freshman year homecoming dance being taken away didn’t seem like something that needed to be taken away.

This was one of those nights.

He’d just had a dream, the same dream he’d had at least a dozen times in his life that always left him awake with an awkward feeling in his stomach.

It was always the same, with the same diner that he didn’t recognize and the same handshake of a cold hand that felt like he shouldn’t have done. In the dream it was almost as if he could feel the bone chilling cold of the fingers of the hand he’d shaken, and sometimes he’d even wake up cold after the dreams.

He’d never been able to really pinpoint what they meant, if they meant anything at all. But the feeling of dread that each repeated scene of the same repeated dream left him with could only make him think that his head was trying to tell him _something._

He just went to sleep instead.

 

For the next week, he ended up not having any time to run downstairs and greet Zayn. He’d seen him once, for about two minutes while he was walking to a different meeting, but other than that there’d been no communication. The times like this when he was so busy at work that he felt like he didn’t have room to breathe were the worst of times.

He pulled a gray hair out of his head while staring at himself in the mirror that night and decided to pretend that he hadn’t seen it.

But that was also the night that he was washing his gray suit pants and he pulled a note out of his pocket that had a phone number on it with Zayn’s name scrawled in messy handwriting. It took Liam a long moment to register that it was in fact Zayn’s name written beside the phone number, but then he remembered that within the two minutes that he’d spoken to him, he _had_ felt a hand slip into his pocket.

So he stuffed his pants into the washer along with everything else that was dirty before he pulled his phone out and sent a number to Zayn. It was late and he certainly hadn’t expected a response, so when the phone didn’t light up, he could still sleep peacefully.

 

Come Friday, they’d managed to make plans to go out to get something to eat at a little restaurant that Liam had always liked as a kid. It was one of the few fond memories that he had from his life that he was willing to share the experience with others. Coming here with his parents had always been something that he’d done right after church every Sunday.

Even if he hadn’t been to church since he was sixteen and got a job that kept him from going with his family, he’d still come in here at least twice a month.

“I’ve heard this place has, like, killer shakes or summat.” Zayn said once they’d sat down, smiling softly at the waitress who’d led them to their table before thanking her. Liam pretended to not notice that his heart had fluttered at how kind and well-mannered his friend was.

“It does. I’ve always loved them.”

“You come here a lot, then?” Zayn pulled a menu from the slot near the edge of the table that they were in and flipped it open, glancing around what he was going to get. Liam already knew; he’d ordered the same thing ever since the first time he got here. But, he still took one and looked just because he wanted to make Zayn feel comfortable.

“Oh, yeah. I’m pretty regular around this place. Most of them know me.”

“That’s nice. Supporting the local businesses and all that.”

“Yeah, it’s really nice.” Zayn was smiling and his eyes were crinkling up and Liam was more than happy to be in that moment when everything was so right and he was beyond content. Really, they’d agreed to hang out in such an easy way. There hadn’t been anything awkward and Zayn said he understood that he hadn’t found his phone number for a few days since it had been slightly odd of him to just slip it in his pocket. It had been a long time since he’d actually been able to just spend time with someone because he wanted to instead of having to because of work.

“So, I’ve got this new commission to paint a building downtown, a tattoo place. I haven’t quite figured out what I’m gonna paint yet, but. It’s kind of exciting.” Liam smiled, eyebrows raising.

“That’s awesome, Zayn. I’d love to come and see it when you’re finished?”

“Yeah, for sure. We can make a date out of it.” Of course Liam knew it was just a figure of speech, just an expression, but his cheeks still felt warm and his palms still felt sweaty with even just the word _date_ having anything to do with him and Zayn.

He needed to calm down.

So, when the waitress came over, he was happy to be able to order his usual – a small strawberry milkshake with a sandwich – and just continue his morning time spent with his friend.  

 

 

“Liam, mate, you in there?” Niall asked, tapping on his head with the side of his pencil. He shook his head in an attempt to wake himself up and actually listen.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. I’m here. What did you say?” But Niall just smiled and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re far too tired to worry about all this right now. Hows about we do this another time? These forms aren’t due for a month; I was just trying to do it early or whatever.”

“I really appreciate that, Ni. I just had a long night last night.” It had been a little unexpected, but he’d invited Zayn back to his flat to watch a movie after they’d eaten, and then they’d ended up having a few drinks and watching an entire series of movies and before he’d even realized, it was well past two in the morning.

“Honestly, I’m glad, Liam. You need to get out a bit more. You’re always here.” It wasn’t normal for Liam to take one of his employees saying that to him, but he and Niall had been good friends far before he’d become his boss. So. He was used to it.

“I’ve worked my whole life to get where I am. I can’t just leave it to go have fun.”

“Everything here is fine, Li. You should take a vacation. Hand off the reigns to someone else for a week or two and just relax. You just look tired.”

“I’ll think about it, alright?”

“But, nothing crazy this time, yeah? No need to have a repeat of that time in Uni.”

“I swear to _god_ that guy pushed me! I don’t even know why I mean –“

“Yeah, yeah, you fucked and he was great and then he went crazy. I know, Liam.”

“Oi, let me tell me stories over and over if I want to.” And then he just put his head down and closed his eyes for a moment. The last thing he felt was Niall’s hand patting his hair and then he was asleep.

Niall was great.

 

So, he did take a vacation. In all of his years of stressing himself out to achieve his goals, he’d learned his limits. Maybe it had taken Niall’s mentioning it to really realize that he had – in fact – hit that limit, but what really mattered was the fact that he was still in bed at ten in the morning on a Wednesday.

It was the best he’d felt in a long time.

 

That day, he managed to crawl out of bed around two in the afternoon and text Zayn. He said he was sorry for not being at work and told him he had a vacation so he wouldn’t be there, but Zayn seemed perfectly fine with it and just wished him a good time.

Liam was happy he had such a good friend.

 

On Thursday, he had the dream again.

Except, for the first time, he couldn’t wake up from it. It was the same scene as usual: the diner that suddenly looked a lot more like the one he frequented than he’d ever realized before and the same pale-skinned man. They were sat in a circular kind of booth, both of them directly next to each other when there really was no need to be. It was uncomfortable. But he was just waiting until he could shake the weird man’s hand so he could _wake up_ – but that didn’t seem like it was going to happen.

“You’ve not kept your end of our deal, Liam.” The voice said in a deep, angry tone. He was frozen in place.

“What deal?” He heard himself asking. This wasn’t right. He knew they’d made some kind of deal – some kind of agreement – since he’d shook the other man’s hand, but he’d never been consciously aware of what he was agreeing to.

“You, Liam, were supposed to have your fun, take what you wanted, live your life, until you turned twenty five. And then you were supposed to _die._ Yet – somehow, you’ve managed to keep yourself from doing so. So now, I’m going to have to kill you.”

He woke up with the feeling of being shaken awake, even if he was the only person in the room. So he glanced around a moment, just checking that everything was still in place. It was. So he had nothing to worry about.

That wasn’t a dream he’d ever had before – it was a kind of twist he’d never thought his subconscious could have come up with.  It scared him.

But part of being an adult was moving past the petty things like dreams that scared him. So he just got out of bed and put his running shoes before he went out. That was the time that he ran more than he had in a long time – until his legs hurt and he was tired enough to just be able to go back to sleep.

He didn’t dream that time.

 

“Zayn!” Liam said, calling him up a bit out of nowhere on Saturday. “Hi, sorry. I was just wondering if you were busy tonight?”

“Oh, no. I’m not. What’s up?”

“I’m thinking about throwing a party. Nothing too big I don’t think – just a few friends and some people from work – So I was wondering if you’d like to come by and join me?”

“Sure! That sounds fun, Liam. What time?”

“How about seven?”

“Seven. Perfect.”

“Are you allergic to anything?” Zayn just laughed a little at that and Liam blushed. Why Zayn’s laugh made him blush he still couldn’t tell – but he wasn’t going to think too much about it.

“That’s sweet of you to ask, but no I’m not. It’s nice you care.”

“I do.” He wasn’t even sure what else to say in that moment. If there even was anything else he could say.

“I’ll see you at seven, then, Leeyum.” The way he dragged his name out made him smile. He kept the phone up to his ear long past the time that the line went dead and just kept smiling. After that he called a few other people and made sure they were all free to be able to come tonight. He needed to do something fun, needed to get his mind off of all the heavy things that were happening in his life, and this was just the right way to do it.

 

So, the party wasn’t anything really extravagant. It was more or less just a gathering with too much food set out and music playing in the background and a little too much alcohol. He’d set out a few bottles, knowing Niall would bring plenty more, and just hoped that the night would be a success.

The first ring at the doorbell came at exactly seven o’clock, and he walked over, opening the door to see Zayn. He couldn’t help the smile at his punctuality and let him in. “Am I the first one here?” He asked after he was inside, the red tint on his cheeks at the realization making Liam laugh softly.

“Yeah. But, don’t worry about it at all. You’re right on time. Everyone else will show up within the next half hour.”

“So, for future reference, seven actually means seven fifteen?”

“To most people, yeah.” It was almost funny to watch how Zayn took it all in, like he’d never been to a party before. Wait. “You’ve been to something like this before, right?”

“No, actually. I’ve always been more in to the formal party scene. Or, I guess the people I’ve been around have been, at least.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy it then.” It was strange to think that Zayn hadn’t ever been to a house party. He’d said he was twenty three, Liam being three years older, but it just seemed off. Maybe Liam needed to stop over-analysing things. Yeah. That would be best. Some people just preferred to live sheltered lives.

Yeah.

 

Niall showed up closer to eight than to seven, but he brought a lot more beer and that was enough to make everyone else okay with it. He’d also brought a few extra friends – as Liam had expected he would – and it was set to be a nice night.

 

“Zayn.” Liam found himself saying at one point in the night. His drunk mind said that he was whispering, but even he knew he wasn’t. He was a loud drunk.

“Yeah?” The other man said, smiling softly. Liam was close to him, thighs pressed up against his even though there was plenty of room on the couch for them to not have to be pressed this close.

“You know you have like, really nice hair.” Zayn laughed, running his fingers through it a few times.

“I’ve been told.”

“And you’re such a good friend.” That was really all Liam remembered before he fell asleep on the couch, right next to Zayn. He shouldn’t have had as much to drink as he did, but, what was the point of having a party if he wasn’t going to drink?

 

The next morning he woke up to a noise in his apartment that he wasn’t expecting. Everyone had left except Niall and Zayn, apperantly. Niall was passed out on the floor near the kitchen, cup in his hand that – luckily – hadn’t spilled. But Zayn was walking around with a trashbag in his hand, picking up for him.

“You really don’t have to do that, Zayn.” He sat up, groaning at the pain in his head.

“No, I want to. You’re all hung over. It should be a crime to have to clean while hung over.” He gave a smile before he continued to pick up the various scattered paper plates and cups that were strung about his flat. “Besides, how else am I supposed to live up to being such a good friend?” Liam turned red.

“Oh, god, how badly did I embarrass myself last night.”

“You fell asleep after you complimented my hair and told me I was a good friend. Nothing too bad, don’t worry.” There was a doubting feeling in his chest that said Zayn was leaving something out, considering he tended to say and do the stupidest things when he was drunk, but he had no reason to doubt him.

“I guess that’s not the worst that could have happened.”

“I do have pretty nice hair.” Liam grinned, laughing softly before making his way to the cabinet to get some Tylenol and downed it with a bottle of water from the fridge.

“And you are a pretty good friend.” He paused, sliding a packet into his Kuerig and pressing go, watching as the water level went down as it turned into coffee. “Want some coffee?”

“Sure. Thanks.”

Niall was still snoring softly even after Zayn had gotten an entire bag of trash from the floor and Liam had told him he wasn’t allowed to pick anything else up. With that, he’d finally retreated to the couch with him, coffee in hand as they watched the news. No one had ever stuck around very long after a party the next morning, especially when there was a mess. Most of the time they’d make up some kind of excuse of why they had to leave and Liam would just make sure they were sober enough that he didn’t need to call them a cab. But, then again, Zayn was different from anyone else that he’d ever really considered a friend. He was different than most of the people he’d ever even been around, really.

Point: Zayn was actually the nicest person he’d ever met.

 

Niall woke up a while later, and if it was because Liam had thrown a pillow at him, no one needed to know. Zayn said he had to go so he could start working on the drafts of his painting, and by three o’clock he was alone again.

There wasn’t anything wrong with being alone. No, certainly not. Liam preferred to be alone most of the time, but for some reason he’d slowly found that he was feeling _lonely._ Before, he’d been able to spend plenty of time alone and never feel lonely, just like he was recharging. But this time, there was a terrible feeling of wanting to be back with everyone he knew and needing to be around them.

So he decided to just go back to work on Monday.

 

But that night, he went out to a bar just because he hadn’t in a long time. He had set a tab of twenty dollars before he left, only taking his pre-paid before he did to make sure he followed that limit. So, tonight he definitely wasn’t going to get drunk. Maybe a little buzzed, maybe he’d find someone that he could sleep with. But, nothing else. He wasn’t going to go overboard.

 

Before long, he was sitting at the bar and there was already another man asking if he could buy him a drink. Maybe that was the part he’d forgotten about. But that was just because he hadn’t been to a bar in so long. He said yes, of course. Turning down free alcohol just wasn’t in his blood.

“Thanks.” He said with a smile, inviting the man to sit beside him. They’d each ordered the same thing and Liam sipped his softly. It was a bit of a girly drink, he’d been told, but it actually felt good to have someone get the same thing. They’d even spoken at the exact same time, which was maybe why he was a little taken aback. He didn’t order it just because he had. “I’m Liam.”

“Louis.” The man said with a wide smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, mate.” The conversation had an awkward feeling to it; like there wasn’t really a need to be talking. Maybe Liam _had_ come here just in an attempt to get a decent fuck, but that didn’t mean he needed to feel like that was the only reason he was here.

It was complicated.

“Would you like to dance?”

“Sure, that sounds nice.”

 

Turns out, Louis could dance. He had the kind of body that Liam thought he could stare at for hours, and he was touching him in all the right places that all said he was ready to leave with him. Maybe he was, but that didn’t mean he was going to admit that just yet.

It was two songs before they were a little closer, both of their bodies pressed a bit closer together, Louis grinding against him in a way that made Liam see stars. Liam was grasping at his shirt and sucking little marks into Louis’ neck before, finally, the other man whispered, “Your place or mine?”

“Yours.” He replied, a bit exasperated. But even in his slightly buzzed state, the paranoia of taking a stranger back to his place was still in his head.

When they both climbed into a cab, Liam was already on Louis’ lap. He moved his hips in a way he _knew_ should be considered sinful, fed off of the way that Louis was gripping on his hips and groaning softly. His breath was on the back of his neck and – _finally_ they got to Louis’ place and he wasn’t sure he’d ever been happier to give money to a cab driver.

 

The second they were inside, the clothes were already coming off. Liam’s shirt was off first, over his head and they were kissing again. Louis was on top of him before long, his clothed body rutting down against his slightly-less-clothed one and hands roaming over his body.

It wasn’t long after that before Liam pulled Louis’ shirt off himself and tossed it to the side, hands roaming around the now bare skin and kissing him again, harder. He was getting desperate.

“I’ve got you.” Louis said before long, like he knew exactly what Liam was thinking and reached in a drawer.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had sex.” There was a hidden message in that, and he just hoped he would get it, but the little understanding smile he got in return was enough for Liam to assume that he did.

So Louis took it slow. He started with one finger and didn’t add another until Liam was begging for it, cock flushed and heavy against his chest as he ground his hips towards Lou’s fingers, trying to get more of _anything._ “Please,” He said, well spent while Louis worked three fingers deep inside of him, pressing against his prostate at a constant rate that made his head spin and heart pound.

“I’ve got you.” He said again kissing him hard before pulling his fingers away and wiping the lube off of them on the sheets. Then there was just the sound of a condom wrapper tearing open and Liam’s heart pounding but he was ready. It had been way too long since he’d had sex. “Ready?”

“Yeah, fuck, please.” And Louis was inside of him in one swift movement that had Liam moaning loudly, back arching off of the bed and nails digging into the sheets.

 

It wasn’t until morning when the regret set in. Sleeping with a stranger and having a one night stand always seemed like a good idea in the moment, but he’d always been the type to regret his actions later and enjoy them in the moment.

So he slipped out around four in the morning as Louis was still snoring beside him with a heavy feeling of guilt in his chest.

There was an odd urge in his heart to call Zayn and _apologize –_ as if he had something to say he was sorry for – but instead he just texted him a simple goodnight message. Less than a minute later, Zayn responded.

_Good Night, Liam xx._

He felt even worse when he saw the message. It was such an odd thing to feel bad about, but at least he knew he had no obligation to see Louis again, and he certainly didn’t plan to.  As he climbed into the cab and told the driver his home address, he twisted his phone in his hand and watched the black screen. Maybe he’d expected it to light up with some kind of sign that someone needed him or someone was feeling the same way he was in that moment, but it didn’t come.

As he crawled into bed a while later, he stared at the celling until the sun came up. He’d had the thought in the very back parts of his mind that he was starting to develop feelings for zayn since they’d met. It had been well over two months now, and it didn’t seem like it was being too fast at this point.

Maybe he’d ask him on a proper date. But with that thought and a glance at the clock (which read five thirty three in the morning) he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these chapters are unbeta'd. Any mistakes are my own.
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on tumblr [here](http://futurxhearts.tumblr.com/) or twitter [here](https://twitter.com/alex_4968) (Twitter is for writing updates only).


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ziam smut ahead :-)

****

_And in the winter night sky ships are sailing,_

_Looking down on these bright blue city lights._

_And they won't wait, and they won't wait, and they won't wait._

_We're here to stay, we're here to stay, we're here to stay._

-‘King and Lionheart’, Of Monsters and Men

ZAYN

It had been just over two hundred years, and Zayn had never quite gotten over the fact that Louis pissed him off. They’d been partners when he first died – when he still had no idea what was expected of him and he needed to be shown around – and they’d continued to be partners even after it wasn’t really needed. Everyone in The Office had said that they could separate at any time and that getting too attached was only going to lead to disappointment later, but neither of them had listened.

They’d always just had too much fun to really consider logic to be important in their relationship.

It had started innocent. With occasionally just messing with a few of the others in their place of work – but before Zayn had really been able to wrap his head around the entire situation, it was past the point of innocence. They were starting to hurt their friends, and he just had never noticed because he’d always been attached to Louis like a little puppy.

Within the first decade, they’d managed to really hurt someone – it had been an accident, at least on Zayn’s part – and that was when he’d come to the realization. Louis had left him to take the fall for both of their actions, and he’d taken it harder than most people in the afterlife ever had.

His job was revoked for review.

He’d been put on a kind of house arrest that drove him up the wall with boredom.

Overall, that was when he’d really realized that Louis was not the kind of person that he needed to be around. But the feelings were softened – even if barely – when Louis showed up with Aurora and explained that they’d _both_ been pulling a prank. He apologized, they both did, and then she decided that they were both okay. It had just been a prank, afterall.

It wasn’t until three decades later, when he and Louis were no longer partners, that Louis fucked him over yet again. It was yet another job related thing, of course, but it had been something Zayn would never have seen coming.

Louis took the job that Zayn had been fighting for for _years._ But the worst part was that he’d said that he hadn’t wanted it, that he wasn’t interested in having to tell people what to do and that he certainly wasn’t interested in having to do all that extra work. Yet he’d managed to get his way to the top and take the job before Zayn had even known about it or had a chance to stop it.

Of course he’d apologized later, said that he’d changed his mind last moment because he wanted to try and he’d claimed that he hadn’t expected to get it instead of him. So, Zayn forgave him. He’d always known that his primary fault was being far too forgiving for his own good.

After that’d he’d always felt a kind of irritation when it came to Louis, but it had faded over the years. It had been well over a hundred years since all of that happened – and the trust was almost re-established.

Almost.

He found himself thinking about these things the most when he was bored. He’d rethink his life and consider all the things that he could have changed that could have altered the places he’d have ended up in. Louis was very often the center of those thoughts; he wondered what could have came of his time in the afterlife if he hadn’t ever met him.

Could have have been any further ahead? Would he have gotten that job? It was all too much.

When Zayn told Liam he was leaving, he wasn’t sure why he felt the strong sense of guilt that had nearly stopped him from doing so. It was hard, in a way, to think that he had to behave like a human. With other Watchers, they could just spend time together and never worry about the time. But with a human, it seemed that all they worried about at any given moment was time.

He hadn’t quite gotten that from Liam, not yet, but he didn’t want to pull that side of him out. Not quite yet. If it even existed.

So he went out into the hallway, took a moment to make sure no one else was around and blocked his visibility – which he liked to think of as a more scientific way of calling himself invisible. It sounded cooler.

Harry always smacked him when he said it that way, so he couldn’t help but laugh slightly at the thought of his friend.

 

As the day went on, he couldn’t help but start thinking about Liam’s recklessness. He didn’t seem as accident prone as he’d originally anticipated, and it was definitely a source of confusion. The way it had been phrased by his bosses made it seem like he was going to have to watch over him every second or else he’d meet his untimely death.

But for the entirety of the time he’d been watching over him, he hadn’t seen him get into a dangerous situation a single time.

Maybe he’d found his path on his own. That thought made him almost feel sick; the thoughts of being unnecessary were flooding back into his head at a pace that was making his head spin. But. He stopped himself. He had to. If he allowed himself to continue with the dangerous thoughts, he’d do something stupid.

That wasn’t his goal.

 

So, as the night went on, he sat out in the hallway of Liam’s bedroom. It was quiet, peacefully so, and he just looked around a while. It was a nice place, much nicer than his home on earth. It reminded him slightly of his neighbor’s home near his; the white walls pristine but accented with color and framed photos of events that he knew must have significance to Liam’s life.

He got up after he heard Liam’s soft snoring and moved to the couch. It was a shame he couldn’t fly or transport or something _cool_ like that. Death kind of sucked, when he thought about it. He was basically just a human that could never die, except he could chose when he wanted to be seen or not.

 

And if he fell asleep on the couch, no one needed to know. But _certainly_ no one needed to know that he nearly screamed when Liam sat on his leg the next morning when he was putting his shoes on.

Of course not.

 

He’d sat at the back of the bar that night, headphones in and his own music turned up just loud enough to block out the horribly thudding base of the speakers as he watched the boy he was told to.

The club was nice. Nothing like the trashy places he’d been in on previous jobs with sweaty people pressed up against walls in every corner and sly thugs snatching wallets from drunk people’s pockets. (Then again, it was always fun to take the wallets right back and watch as the thief would search as if they deserved what they’d stolen.)

Every time he had to hover around Liam like this, it made him feel odd. Each time he’d have to remind himself that it was just his job and he _certainly_ wasn’t stalking him – but it felt like it, at times. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what he’d been expecting throughout the night as he’d been following Liam around, invisibly, just keeping an eye on him. Perhaps he could have stayed visible and hung around him through the night, but that just seemed like it would have been awkward, to just show up out of nowhere in the same bar Liam was in.

Even if he _was_ following him, he certainly didn’t want Liam to think that. It was in those instances, when the person being watched became uncomfortable with the thought that they were, that the Watcher’s job was switched. That wasn’t what Zayn wanted.

He’d looked away for a moment, just long enough for a poor girl wearing too-tall heels to face plant before he felt a sudden spark down his back and knew he needed to be paying attention to Liam _now._

Problem was, he wasn’t in the seat he’d left him. Or, rather, last seen him. His eyes darted quickly around the bar, searching every face until he found him. There were hands on his hips and his eyes raked up his _assignment’s_ body until –

_Louis?_

Louis was looking directly at him, a little grin plastered on his face as he danced with his boy. He wasn’t entirely sure what exactly Louis was playing at with this, but his heart was pounding and the anger was bubbling inside of his chest. It didn’t feel fair or right or _just_ for Louis to be all over him like he was. But, in the end, Louis could do whatever he wanted with Liam, and Zayn would just have to _watch_. That was what pissed him off the most.

 

He watched as they climbed inside of a cab, stomach churning and head light. He felt like he’d just had enough to drink to have him passed out on a curb, yet he was entirely dry. The walk took longer than it needed to, and he ended up just sitting outside of Louis’ apartment.

 

If he threw up inside of the potted plant near the window by Louis’ door, no one needed to know.

 

He was asleep until he heard the door creak open. Liam was leaving, and he looked like he’d just seen a ghost. Zayn almost had to double check that Li still couldn’t see him, but he’d long since learned the difference in the feeling of his fingertips between being visible and invisible.

He stood, following Liam to the cab he’d called, sliding into the seat beside him and watching as his boy pulled his phone out of his pocket. His heart wrenched as he watched his thumb hover over the call button in his name, and he almost threw up again when he heard the muted whisper of, “Fuck.” And watched as the other man’s fingers blurred over the keys and he felt his own phone buzz in his pocket.

Point: _Fuck_ Louis Tomlinson. Literally, apparently.

 

It was hard for Zayn to get rid of the tight feeling in his chest after that night. He’d said he was sick when Liam asked if he wanted to hang out after work on Tuesday, and Wednesday, too. He felt bad come the fifth day. But it was even worse when he saw Liam’s name buzzing on the screen with an incoming call. With a heavy heart, he answered.

“Hello?” He asked, glancing at the other man who couldn’t see him. It really was weird, but he wasn’t entirely sure how else to function.

“Hi, Zayn. How are you feeling?” Liam was chewing on his fingernails, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Guilt was barely the beginning of what Zayn was feeling.

“I’m alright. Bit better, I think.”

“That’s,” Liam shook his head, sighing softly, “That’s good. I’m sorry if I’ve done anything to upset you.”

“You haven’t Liam.” He lied so easily. His heart wrenched again. But he couldn’t find it in himself to even say that he _was_ upset with Liam – he was fuming angry at Louis. Maybe it was just disappointment that he felt with Liam. There was no reason; he wasn’t his. But it felt wrong, still. No matter what.

“Can I come over?” Zayn paused a moment.

“Yeah. Sure.” It almost brought a smile to his face when he watched how Liam visibly inflated, his confidence slowly coming back along with the smile on his lips.

It was so weird that Zayn was here, but weird was just something he’d kind of always dealt with.

“Cool. I’ll see you soon.”

 

Zayn decided to go see Harry again when Liam went back home to see his mum. He’d sat with him for the car ride, of course, just to make sure he could be there if he got in an accident or something, but he trusted he was safe when he was in his mother’s care.

So that was how he found himself sitting across from Harry with a latte in his hand, head resting on the table.

“I’m not saying this to hurt you, mate, but you like a lot like you’ve just been hit by a train.”

“I’m feeling a bit like it, too, honest.”

“What’s gotten into you now?” It was an innocent question, but Zayn couldn’t help but groan.

“Louis.” That was all it took and he could feel the way the energy radiating off of Harry changed. It went from its typical calm, sweet feeling to tense and angry. He could relate.

“I’ve always known that one was no good.”

“He really hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s just me being an idiot.” He sat up, finally, sighing softly and looking at his friend.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, Z. I’m fine just sitting and keeping you company.” The nickname made his heart swell, the fondness in their friendship a constant reminder that he _could_ – in fact – be very happy, but he just wasn’t at the moment. That was what he needed to remember.

“I _do_ want to talk about it. I’m just not quite sure how to phrase it. My feelings are everywhere and I just. My head hurts.” Another sigh. Harry put a hand on his shoulder. The touch was reassuring, but he couldn’t really tell if it was because it was _Harry_ or because it was their _job_ to be comforting.

He was going to go with the first and hope for the best.

“I’m here to listen, yeah?”

“Okay.” So he told him. Everything. From how he was maybe starting to feel a kind of responsibility over Liam that _wasn’t_ professional to the anger that had bubbled deep inside of his stomach when he saw the way Liam had begged for Louis. It made his heart ache and eyes threaten with tears. He felt like he was some kind of school boy, hopelessly lost in a crush he knew he could never go through with, but it didn’t stop him from _wanting_ it – and oh, God, he wanted to be with Liam. He wanted to spend every moment with him and touch him and be there for him in every way he could.

Harry took a moment to really process everything before he responded, and the moments felt like years in Zayn’s mind. He felt like he was far beyond the brink of falling into a hard depression. Something like that had only happened right after he’d come here, right after he’d died.

“I’m sorry, Zayn. I hate Louis as much as the next guy does, honestly, but I’m afraid there isn’t anything we can do to get him in trouble for what he’s done. He didn’t harm him, right?”

“No.” Of course he didn’t. Zayn knew that, but he didn’t want to admit it.

“It’s gonna be all right, mate. It will. Everything will work itself out eventually.”

“Yeah, I know.”

 

Liam was set to be with his parents for just under two weeks around the holiday time. So, Zayn occupied himself with doing what he usually did (before he’d been assigned to him) and just wondered around the streets, trying to catch sight of any trouble that maybe he could help out with.

It wasn’t long before he caught sight of a woman sitting in the drivers seat of her car, coffee cup pulled up to her lips and eyes half-lidded. She was going to fall asleep driving. Even Zayn could see that, and he’d never operated a car in his life. So, once she pulled to a stop light, he managed to get into her car through the open window (talk about uncomfortable) and sit in the passenger’s side.

His job was weird.

But then he looked back into the behind seats to see a little girl, maybe a year old, playing with a little stuffed penguin as her mother – or so he assumed – drove off. He could hear the constant buzz inside of her head, the worry, the way she was thinking about everything that was going to happen that day along with everything that needed to be done. Before her thoughts could even come to a complete stop, her eyes were closing and Zayn’s hands were on the wheel, just keeping them from drifting into the traffic.

With one hand tightly around the wheel, he nudged her with the other. She didn’t wake up, so he pushed her a bit harder, finally smiling when she shook awake. The panic was obvious across her face but she was awake and both of them were safe. That was all that mattered to Zayn.

The little girl could see him. He knew that much. Kids could always see them until they turned about three, and then they were told too many times that what they were seeing wasn’t actually there, so the childhood innocence that allowed them to see his kind went away. Then, they had to go away, too.

“Make sure you tell your mum you love her very, very much. I’m always going to be here if you need me.” He’d always tell the kids that. Then it was finalized, realized, and finished when he’d reach and grab their hands. If he touched a human when he wasn’t in his visible form, he connected with them. It was one of the most interesting parts of being what he was.

For the rest of that girl’s life, he’d know if she was in trouble or not.

 

Zayn spent more time than he had in decades up in The Office in those two weeks. He still kept an eye on Liam, of course, but from what he’d seen, his mother wouldn’t even leave his side, let alone let him get into any trouble. So, he was home a lot more, staring at the walls and talking with people he hadn’t spoken to in far too long.

Things were different here than they were on earth. The time was different, the way it felt was different. The days were longer here, the day light being much more predominant than the night time. He’d asked why at one point, but it seemed that no one really knew. Not that he was complaining, the daylight was much nicer than the night time, afterall.

But it wasn’t just that. There were such different expectations of how the people acted in the two worlds. On Earth, people were able to say and do whatever it was that they pleased. They could _go_ wherever they pleased. But in the afterlife, there was always a purpose for what was done; nothing was done because someone simply wanted to do it.

The area he lived in – something similar to a town on Earth – was full of Watchers. It was certainly one of the biggest towns in this place (since there was such a high demand for his job as humans kept having children). It was nice to be surrounded by people who had the same job, but there’d always been times that he wanted to go out and meet others. Find other people with different experiences and stories to tell. But, that had never been approved.

He didn’t mind too much. One day it would. Just not now.

Perhaps that was the reason he didn’t spend as much time in this realm as he did on Earth. Being on earth was a kind of freedom that not every single person received in the afterlife. There’d been times that he wished he’d never been allowed back on earth, because it would disappoint him so greatly if that right was ever stripped away, but now, he just took every second in as if it was his last.

 

He was back on earth the day Liam was set to come home. The car ride hadn’t been unbearable the first time when he’d gone up to the city – that the name of wasn’t coming to his mind – of Liam’s family, so he decided to go back with him. It was actually a lot more fun than the ride up there.

Liam had a brighter glow about him than he’d seen before. He looked happier, cheeks a little fuller, and eyes a little brighter. It made Zayn beyond happy to see that he was feeling better; that stress probably could have killed him if he didn’t get an escape every once and a while. That was what had made Zayn worry more than anything else.

The other man stopped at a stop light and plugged his phone into the radio of his car. This made music – which Zayn assumed was from his phone – play through the speakers. He blinked. Technology was pretty cool, when he could figure out what the purpose of it was.

But then Liam was singing and Zayn was melting and he was happy, too.

 

It was another day before Liam called him up and invited him over without explanation. It was a weird time that he’d called, just after eight at night, but Zayn wasn’t complaining. So he decided to go over, and the second he’d walked into Liam’s flat, he understood.

Things were scattered everywhere, glasses broken on the ground, books thrown from their casings, his laptop smashed, tv slashed down the face with a knife. Zayn felt…. Terrible. He’d not even been involved in this and he wanted to help him fix it, but he just blinked. The words wouldn’t form right in his mouth.

“I’m sorry I invited you over to this.” Liam said, voice sounding raw.

“It was fine when I left this morning, and I – I don’t know. Didn’t want to be alone, I guess.” _How the Hell is this considered reckless?_

“I understand completely, Liam. You can, um, you can come to mine if you’d like? Then I can help you clean all of this up tomorrow?” He could see it in Li’s face, the way his pride was going to make him say no. So he was getting ready to come up with an excuse for why it really _was_ okay for him to come over when –

“Yeah. I’d like to go back to yours. If you’re sure.” Zayn was surprised, but grateful he wasn’t going to have to fight against his decision.  So he sat on the little chair as he waited for Liam to pack properly, just enough for a night, and took a moment to really look around the smashed–to–pieces flat.

It really didn’t even look like anything had been taken. Just _broken._ It all looked like someone had been genuinely angry and just needed a way to show it – but he couldn’t imagine anyone being able to be angry with Liam. He was too nice. Maybe that was his downfall.

“Hey.” Liam said, snapping Zayn out of his trance of thought and he turned and smiled.

“Hey. Let’s get outta here.”

“Good idea.”

 

Liam fell asleep on the couch later that night and Zayn wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to do from there. For some reason he felt like he was breaking some kind of _rule_ – some kind of regulation that was forbidden to break. But he wasn’t. He’d double checked the books after he’d started spending more time with Liam than was professionally necessary, just to be sure.

He wasn’t doing anything wrong, so why did he feel like he was?

He laid in bed that night, the need to sleep never really taking over, and just thought. After a while, he couldn’t even really keep track of what he was thinking about, but his mind ran at a speed he’d never felt before. It was a good feeling – no, a great feeling – and he didn’t want to let it go. Being around him made his stomach do awkward flips and his heart ache with how deeply he cared for him.

This wasn’t professional; he didn’t care for Liam because he had to. He cared for Liam because he _wanted to_ and that in itself was terrifying. Humans were dangerous creatures for the dead to fall fond of, but he was beyond that point. The snores coming from his living room were gentle reminders of that, and he couldn’t help the smile pulling at his cheeks.

Liam Payne was doing _something_ to him and he wasn’t entirely sure if it was good or not.

 

It was a good thing.

God, it was good and Zayn wanted to burst from the seams at how _happy_ he felt.

The certainty of how he felt had come followed by so much hesitation as he rose that morning, eyes tired and body weak from his lack of sleep, but the hesitation faded and his happiness was quick to replace. Liam was awake, coffee brewing and searching through his cupboard for a new pan for another food that Zayn assumed he was going to cook.

“Good morning.” Zayn said softly, but watched as the other jumped and hit his head on the cupboard. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” But he was smiling – he was really _smiling_ – and it felt better than he could remember.

“No, no that’s alright. I made, um, coffee. And eggs.”

“Sorry about my lack of food around here. I usually eat out.”

“I can tell.” Liam was grinning, looking at him with a soft gaze that slightly reminded Zayn of a puppy. It made his stomach churn. But then he turned away to continue tending to the eggs on the stove. Zayn poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned back against the countertop.

There was a long pause, then, and Zayn figured he probably _should_ have said something, but instead he just watched him a moment before retreating back to his own couch, coffee in hand.

 

“So,” Liam started once he’d joined Zayn on the couch. Zayn looked over to him with a little smile, “You said your birthday is on the twelfth right?” Zayn was a little shocked he’d remembered. It had been a small question when the both of them were looking up their horrorscopes on one of the days that they’d been sitting in the coffee shop with nothing better to do.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Well, um,” Zayn quirked an eyebrow, a little smile playing at the edge of his mouth, “I was wondering if maybe I could like, um, take you out on a like… birthday date or dinner? Or somthin’. I mean. Obviously you don’t. I mean. You probably want to spend it with you family or uh,” He blinked again, stunned. The idea of going on a date with the other man had certainly played in his thoughts, but he’d never imagined that he’d actually ask.

“I’d love to go. That sounds quite nice.” Liam deflated in that same way Zayn had noticed he always did when some kind of stress was relieved. It was definitely a good thing – he decided. Whatever it was that Liam Payne was doing to him, he didn’t want it to stop.

 

It was four days before his party when he found himself back, once again, with Harry. This time, though, Harry had decided to take a “field trip” – or so he’d called it – to Earth. He’d said it was something to do with the new job he’d just been given and he’d be spending a bit of time here. So, of course, Zayn had opted to show him around.

He really tried not to laugh at how scared Harry looked. He really did. But, some things weren’t entirely worth trying so hard for. “ _God_ Harry, you’re actin’ like you’ve never been on earth before!”

“Well, it’s been so long! Nothing’s as it was when I was here!”

“Of course it isn’t, you tosser.” Zayn said with a laugh and an eyeroll. Maybe it wasn’t entirely necessary to tease him – but, he was going to anyway. “Everything on Earth changes like, constantly. It’s actually pretty fun.”

“No, no. No, I much rather stay where things stay the _same.”_ Harry certainly looked as out of place as Zayn could imagine he felt. He was dressed in entirely white – white jeans and a white button up shirt – which was, again, something he shouldn’t have thought was so funny.

“No wonder you’re so boring.”

“Hey!” Harry crossed his arms over his chest and Zayn pushed him softly to the side. It wasn’t long after that that he took him to one of his favorite restaurants and _finally_ got him to admit that maybe – just maybe – earth wasn’t as bad as he’d originally thought.

“But, the real question is:” His friend started, setting his silverware down and shoving the now-empty plate to the side of the table. “When are you going to let me meet this boy of yours, then?”

“He’s not _my_ boy, Harry.”

He made a noise that Zayn was sure meant he thought he wasn’t telling the truth, but, he wasn’t. Liam wasn’t _his_ boy. “I’m pretty sure the word spreading around back home is that _your_ boy has asked you out on a date.”

Zayn flushed red. So, he was caught. Or at least it felt like he was caught, cornered, even if he’d really done nothing wrong. Harry was staring at him with this intense stare, as if he knew it would make him break and tell him more.

“Fine, fine. Yeah, he’s taking me out for my birthday or summat.”

“So, _your_ boy is taking you out on a _hot date_ and you’re not even going to tell your best friend?”

“Oh, my _God_ harry. It’s not a _hot date!_ He’s just taking me to dinner.”

“Zayn, what do I do in most of my free time?”

“Stalk me?”

“Well, that, and I watch a lot of humans and study their behaviors. Mostly, I’ve found that “dinner” usually leads to the bedroom.”

“I’m going to the loo.” Harry laughed and Zayn stood, walking away to tend to the burning red heat in his face. It was weird, the sudden urge he got to text Liam and tell him about how Harry had embarrassed him.

“Tell him hello for me!”

Point: Fuck Harry Styles.

 

 

LIAM

He’d been at work when he got an unexpected message from Zayn that left him a little too happy for the rest of the day.

[ From: Zayn 12:43pm ]

_I can’t wait for 2nite xx_

When his phone buzzed, he couldn’t help but grab it out as quickly as he could and read the message, a smile crossing his face. It wasn’t rare that Zayn would text him first – but it was much more common that he’d send the first message. So, if he got excited when he got a message from Zayn first that was no one else’s business. Even if it was just something as simple as a sentence that could leave him smiling for much longer than he thought should be appropriate.

[To: Zayn 12:43pm]

_See u at 7 x_

He didn’t want to seem too over eager. There were some things in his life he’d just had to come to terms with, like the fact that he’d probably have to resort to online dating to find someone who was _actually_ into blokes like he was. Instead of just hoping.

But he hoped a lot that Zayn would at least give him some kind of sign. It wasn’t something he’d ever really done to himself – building up false hope. But this time he just couldn’t really help it.

Something about Zayn just made his palms sweat, his heart race, his head spin. He was always excited to be around him, always felt, oddly, safe when he was with him.

He felt like a boy again, getting some kind of primary school crush that he just couldn’t seem to shake.

By the time he got off at five, he was practically already out the door, barely saying goodbye to his intern before he was in his car and driving home. By the time it was six thirty, he was already ready and getting in his car again to go and get Zayn.

 

“Hey!” Zayn said as he climbed into the passenger seat of his car. He’d been outside, smoking a cigarette when Liam pulled up. He wasn’t bothered.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good. Yeah. Been excited for this.” He said with a grin.

“Well,” Liam said, pretending his heart didn’t skip a beat when he said that, “Happy birthday, mate.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Zayn’s smile was beautiful. Of course Liam had already noticed that from all of the time they’d spent together, but right there in that moment it was so much more. It was captivating, and he felt himself staring for a moment too long before shifting the car into drive and letting himself focus on the road once again.

The little restaurant Liam planned on taking him out to was about a half hour drive, and the first ten or so minutes were silent. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence like he found himself stuck in with other people so frequently, it just felt normal. It was nice to be able to think; to be able to spend time with someone without having to engage constantly.

His school boy crush was maybe a little out of hand – but who was he to deny himself a little fantasy he knew he wouldn’t act on?

 

It was about two hours into their night, an entire bottle of wine long since gone, and Liam was warm. Pleasantly. Zayn’s laugh seemed so much brighter and louder when he was slightly buzzed. Sometime during their time together he’d undone the buttons on his suit coat and just left his tie hanging with elbows resting on the table as their conversation flowed.

They’d have to leave soon; Liam had only made two hour reservations and it was already past that, but no one had said anything yet.

“Liam,” Zayn said with a little smile. He really hadn’t stopped smiling all night, but, then again, neither of them had.

“Zayn.” He responded, not really sure what else to say.

“You’ve got really nice eyes. Do you know that?”

“They’re brown. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say brown is nice.” He was smiling still. His heart was beating faster.

“They’re really nice.”

“Thank you.”

It wasn’t long before they were being ushered out by the hostess who said she had to seat the next reservation, and they were happy to oblige. Liam lived closer to the restaurant than Zayn did, so they both decided on getting a cab back to his place. Neither really wanted to drive when they were both buzzed.

 

Getting back to Liam’s place was a slow journey. The traffic on the road was a lot worse than it had been coming in, but he didn’t really mind. He and Zayn had finally opened up for the night and were able to talk and laugh and just be friends together. “How old did you say you were turning again?” Liam found himself asking after a moment in the cab, eyes trained to Zayn’s.

“I didn’t.” He responded with a sly smile, “Don’t you know to never ask a gentleman his age?” They were laughing again.

“Mm, okay. I’ll tell you how old I am if you tell me how old you are.” He wanted to know, oddly enough.

“Any other incentives?”

“I mean, I could spank you for every year old you are – “ Liam said it before he’d really had time to process the thought, and his entire face felt red. It certainly hadn’t been meant in the context he assumed Zayn took it. “Oh, my god. Ignore me.”

Zayn was quite for a moment, and then he was laughing again. Maybe it was okay, then.

“I’m 22.” Almost right after that, the car came to a stop and Liam passed his card over before getting out with Zayn.

 

It was just past ten and they were both sat on the couch, suits long abandoned and Zayn in a pair of Liam’s joggers and one of his t-shirts, with some flick playing on the telly that he didn’t much care about.

He looked over at Zayn, then, smiling softly when he saw him asleep and figured he could use some sleep, too. Within twenty minutes after that, he tossed a blanket over the other boy and retreated to his room, telly turned off along with every other light.

That night, he fell asleep to the thought of being able to see Zayn off to sleep more often, and he fell asleep with cheeks sore from smiling and heavy eyes.

 

When he got up the next morning and found Zayn cooking something for breakfast, he wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe he’d thought the universe would pop his bubble of his little fantasy and he’d wake up to an empty house – but, he wasn’t complaining. No, he _certainly_ wasn’t complaining.

“Good morning.”

“Morning!” Zayn said, turning and smiling. “Um, I kind of figured out how to work your appliances. I think. So I made eggs and stuff. Couldn’t figure out the coffee maker though.” His hair was slightly ruffled, and Liam’s heart was doing that weird thing in his chest again.

“Wait, you’ve really never worked an electric cooker before? Or a Keurig?”

“No, honestly. I’ve still got a gas stove in my flat.” Liam just shrugged and pressed his button to make his coffee and pretended he wasn’t laughing at Zayn when he sighed.

 

The following days went on smoothly. He went to work when he was supposed to, Zayn came over a few nights, and Liam was happy. He really was. Whether or not it was because he was just socializing more or if it was because it was actually with _Zayn,_ Liam was unsure. But, either way, he found himself feeling a lot better than he had in a very long time.

 

It was Wednesday when Zayn brought him lunch, since they ate at the café in his building so often that it was starting to get slightly old. Maybe it was something odd in the courage that Liam felt like he was gaining from such a simple and domestic action, but when they’d both finished eating – Zayn having laughed at him enough with a few apologies in between for making it too spicy – Liam stopped him before he could leave.

“Zayn,” He started with a little smile, “I know we already hang out an awful lot, but, I was just, um. Would you like to maybe go out on like, a proper date? I mean – that’s not. Um, you can say no, of course.”

“You know, my friend had a tab bet with a few people on when you’d ask me out.” He replied simply enough, and Liam was almost stunned. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Liam blinked. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting – but it wasn’t _that._ He got a yes, which he was more than happy for, but. Had he really been that obvious?

“Okay. Cool.” He finally croaked out after a while of being stunned. Zayn had that trying-not-to-laugh smirk on his face. “Friday, then? I’ll pick you up.”

“Such a gentle man.” Zayn was smiling. Liam was floating.

 

They’d decided to go see a movie, since it was one of the few things they actually hadn’t gone and done together already. The cinema was almost completely empty, since it was something that had been out for a decent amount of time. Liam had moved to go and hold Zayn’s hand somewhere in the middle of it, and when Zayn gave his hand a little squeeze that said it was okay, he felt like he was on top of the world.

 

Liam liked to consider himself a pretty old-fashioned, and even at times, conservative type of person. He’d never fucked on the first date. It just – it wasn’t something he’d ever done. But when Zayn had said, “You know, I’ve wanted to kiss you since I very first saw you.” He couldn’t help but oblige.   
The kiss had turned from innocent to heated much faster than Liam had been expecting. Zayn’s lips were soft, moving against his own perfectly and it was almost _dirty_ before, “We should go back to my place.” Liam breathed out, heart pounding.

“Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.”

 

Turns out – Zayn really liked to touch and tease. They were in the car for barely five minutes, the road emptying in the darkness, before he had Liam’s cock out of the zipper, spit coated hand pumping him slowly enough to drive him nearly mad. “Zayn – I have to. Drive.” That was enough for the other man to pull his hand away and maybe he regretted saying something – but. “Gonna _ravish_ you when we get in, yeah?” And the hitch in Zayn’s breath when he said that was reward enough.

 

By the time Liam pulled into his lot, they were both scrambling to get out of their seatbelts and getting inside. Liam had Zayn pressed against the wall of the elevator, kissing him hard enough that his own lips were hurting, fingers stringing through the other’s hair.

Finally, the elevator doors dinged open and Liam broke the kiss to get inside, hand intertwined tightly with Zayn’s until the doors were closed again. Zayn took Liam’s tie in his hands, pulling him closer until they were close enough to kiss again, their lips coming together and hands touching everywhere they could until Zayn made a high pitched whine. Liam wanted to hear it again. Wanted to hear Zayn’s begs and moans and everything – it was overwhelming.

It was almost a fluid motion for them to topple on to the sofa, Zayn finding his way on top of Liam, straddling him. He shifted, seemingly accidentally, until their clothed cocks rubbed together and they both moaned softly.

“I believe,” Zayn started, swiveling his hips so they both had constant friction, “You said you were going to ravish me?” He was teasing and Liam couldn’t help but pull him back down, kissing him harder before a whisper of, “Yeah, yeah babe. Gonna have you screamin’.”

It was completely out of character for Liam. He knew it. There had always been a different side of him during sex. His typically sweet persona changed to something else entirely – whether he was topping or not factored in. With Zayn, he could already feel himself moving into that dominant place that he so rarely found himself in but loved.

“Prove it, Payne.” That was all the challenge Liam really needed before he was tugging Zayn’s shirt off and running his hands down his chest.

“Bedroom, yeah?” He said with a smile, just touching all the skin he could in that moment.

That was all it took and Zayn was up, standing and grabbing Liam’s tie again, pulling him towards the bedroom with him. Liam couldn’t help but laugh, the tightness in his pants growing a bit more uncomfortable as time kept passing, but it was always fun to be able to laugh during sex. Those were the best.

Zayn laid down on the bad – which, embarrassingly, Liam had not made that morning – with his hands behind his head, eyes trained on him with a smile on his face and, “You can begin now, then.” He was still shirtless and it took a moment before they were _both_ laughing, Liam shaking his head.

“Whatever you want, dear.” Zayn was still grinning and Liam moved to the bed, undoing his pants and pulling them down. He was almost anticipating the moment when the sly smile on Zayn’s face would fall – but at the same time he loved it.

He kissed up Zayn’s thighs, the hot skin against his lips a reminder that he was _actually_ doing this with the other. He wasn’t focusing too much on Zayn’s face, but he couldn’t help but look up, glancing up through eyelashes as he mouthed over the obvious erection through his underwear. His own smug smile forming as the grin fell from Zayn’s face and he groaned softly. “Such a tease, Payne.”

“Did you want something else?” Liam asked before grabbing his cock out, thumbing over the head and soslowly pumping his hand over the shaft.

“Yeah – Something. You’re such a –“ He stopped when Liam finally wrapped his hand a bit tighter, flicking his wrist faster, giving in to what Zayn wanted. It wasn’t long before Zayn was fucking up into Li’s hand, moans shamelessly falling from his lips. “You gonna fuck me or just get me off?”

“You’ve got quite a mouth on you.”

“You could keep with your promise of spanking me?” Zayn said, grinning again when Liam’s hand stilled, blinking down at the boy beneath him.

“Christ. Next time. Wanna – gonna fuck you, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Liam reached to his side drawer, pulling it open and grabbing his half-used bottle of lube, spreading it over his fingers first.

“Bring your knees up. Wanna see you.” It was a bit embarrassing to show someone else it was half used – one too many late-night wanks being the cause – but he didn’t have any time to think about that before his attention was back on the beautiful boy in front of him. He pressed a finger against his boy’s hole, teasing the little ring of muscle for a moment and getting a little groan before pressing one finger in, down to the knuckle. There was a little, soft sigh – almost like content – from Zayn’s mouth before Liam hooked his fingers and the sigh turned into yet another shameless moan.

It was beautiful. Beyond any of the thoughts Liam had ever had of sex with Zayn. Their eyes were trained right on each other – Liam’s teeth digging into his lips as he watched how the other’s face contorted with each touch to his prostate.

“Ready for another?”

“Yeah, Li, please. Feels good.” Maybe it was the please – or maybe it was just his own lust-clouded mind – but he was happy to give it to Zayn. Pressing another finger in beside the first, moans falling more and more from Zayn’s mouth and he never wanted this to end. Liam pressed two fingers right against the little spot inside of Zee that seemed to get the most reaction out of him, making him moan loudly. “Fuck me – I’m ready. Wanna come with you inside of me.”

That was all it took for Liam to be convinced enough.

He pulled his fingers away and spread a bit more lube over his cock, pumping it a few times with his own hand before moving closer to Zayn, pressing the tip against his hole and looking to him for one final word of permission. “Alright?”

“Yeah.”

Liam pushed inside, one quick movement of hips and Zayn was grabbing at his shoulders, nails digging in eversoslightly. It was incredible – tight and warm and it really had been way too long since Liam had fucked another boy. He was still a moment – breaths short before Zayn was nodding a silent permission for him to move and that was all he needed.

Liam brought his hips back before snapping them forward again, quick movements, trying to keep brushing against Zayn’s prostate with each movement. There was nearly a constant strain of Liam’s name from Zayn’s lips, his eyes squeezed shut.

It wasn’t long before Liam wrapped a hand around Zayn’s cock and pumped it in time with his thrusts, a final shout of his name on Zayn’s tongue as he came and Liam wasn’t far behind him.

 

They’d managed to fall asleep, bodies intertwined together after Liam had towled the come off of Zayn’s body and everything was finally how Liam thought it was supposed to be.

 

When he woke up the next morning and, once again, found Zayn still with him, he couldn’t even explain the deep contentment he felt deep in his chest.

 

“How was it?” Niall asked, cross legged on his desk with a cup of coffee of his own in his hand, handing Liam his own.

“What?” He felt himself asking, willing the redness in his face to die down.

“You totally got laid. What kind of best friend would I be if I couldn’t tell?”

 “Niall –“

“Boy or girl? Was it Zayn? It was Zayn wasn’t it!”

“Niall quit it – “

“Was his dick big?”

“Oh my _God.”_

“Did you say that a lot?”

“Niall!” Niall was laughing and Liam knew his face was completely red at that point.

“Come on, fill me in.” Liam couldn’t help the sigh, which only egged the blonde haired boy on further.

“It was Zayn.”

“Ha! I knew it. You know, I had a bet with Rebecca on how long it would take.”

“Fucking hell, was I really that obvious? Zayn’s friends had a bet on how long it would take me to ask him out.”

“You were quite a bit like a deer in headlights whenever he’d come around, mate.” Maybe it was alright that he was obvious, but it was also annoying – at least in that subject. He liked to pretend he was spontaneous – even when he certainly wasn’t.

“Mr. Payne, Zayn Malik is here.” His speaker said and he fumbled to turn it off, but Niall was already laughing again and getting up to walk out.

“Thanks, send him up.” He said with a red face and a quick-beating heart.

 

It started to become _normal_ for liamandzayn to be a thing. Everyone around them seemed to accept it – no one except Niall ever really even questioning it. So, date nights were regular. They fucked a lot (which, Liam might admit, was nice).

They hadn’t decided to put a real lable on what they were until the second month – finally calling each other _boyfriends_ instead of just friends. But, label or not, Liam was still happy. He’d known since the beginning that Zayn really did make him happy. He was one of the very first people that had ever made him feel _anything_ just by being with him.

 

“So,” Liam started, shoving another chip in his mouth. They’d found a little local shop downtown that had good fish and chips – so it had become a bit of a regular spot for them to hang out.

“So,” Zayn replied, eyebrow quirking.

“Are you ever going to let me meet your friend, Harry?”

“I mean, if you want to. Sure.” He said with a little shrug. “He’s quite finicky, though. Always doing something or another. But I’ll bug him to clear a day up to come hang out with us.”

“Cool, okay.” Liam couldn’t help the smile, watching as Zayn pulled his phone – a flip phone that Liam still made fun of him for – and his fingers moved over the keys before it was back in his pocket. He assumed it was just a text asking Harry to hang out with them, so he didn’t bother mentioning it.

 

It was four months before Liam, in a slightly buzzed state, told Zayn how much he loved him. It was babbling, little words of affection while he was resting on Zee’s lap, head laying on his shoulder. “You’re so good. Smell so good. I love you.”

He hadn’t really been entirely aware of what he’d been saying until after he’d said it. But he didn’t find himself feeling the dread that likely should have caught up with his body – with the fear of leaving himself so vulnerable.

“I love you, too.” Were Zayn’s words, his hands running through his hair. Liam could hear the smile in his face and he felt himself calm. It had been such a short moment of deep anxiety – but once it was cleared up, he was floating. Everything was great. His life was great.

 

“You must be Liam.” A tall man said, deep voice and curly hair the first thing Liam noticed.

“And you’re Harry right?”

“That’s me.” He had a thick, heavy English accent that – oddly enough – even Liam found himself struggling to pick apart. He’d never heard anyone who had the same dialect Harry had – except maybe one of his friend’s grandparents from primary school. But. He wasn’t going to focus on that.

He, Zayn, and Harry all walked over to the little table at the back of the coffee shop and Liam looked at Zayn smiling softly before the other man stopped, eyebrows furrowing as he looked to Harry. “You brought _Louis?”_ He hissed through his teeth and Liam felt his chest tighten.

Oh, God.

“I didn’t. He just kind of tagged along. You know how he is.” Harry didn’t seem nearly as distraught about his presence as Zayn was. Liam hid his discomfort with knowing he was there as best as he could. But they all made their way to the table anyway, the blueeyed boy staring at his phone and taking a long drink of whatever coffee he had before finally glancing up at the trio.

“Hey, Zee. Long time no see. Ha. Rhymes, get it?” Zayn rolled his eyes and Liam laughed, a bit of tension leaving his body. At least it seemed that Louis wasn’t going to say anything about their little one night stand they’d had.

“Funny, funny. Louis, this is Liam. Liam, Louis.” Louis stretched his hand out, keeping up the muse that they didn’t know each other and Liam shook it. But he was tense again.

It was quiet a moment. Harry suddenly seemed a bit uncomfortable with Louis’ presence, his body language saying enough of that. But Louis didn’t seem to notice or care – so he decided not to pay much attention to it.

“How do you all know each other?” He found himself asking after a few minutes.

“Harry’s been a friend for years.” Zayn started, smiling over at the curly haired boy. “He’s Louis’ boss, and Louis is my boss – sort of.”

“Supervisor is probably the better word.”

“Supervisor my ass.” Louis said and laughed, but neither Harry nor Zayn seemed to find that funny so Liam didn’t laugh.

He was uncomfortable.

“Ah, work friends.” Liam said with a smile, trying to lessen the discomfort in the atmosphere. Maybe if he kept talking they’d all just calm down. He hoped so.

 

Once they left, Liam still felt a bit tense. Harry had been the first to have to go – saying he had other plans he had to get to – and he and Zayn had left barely three minutes after.

“That was kind of awkward.” He said once they were in the car.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I really didn’t know Louis was going to show up.”

“It’s alright. Maybe another time it’ll be easier – we can have time without him.”

“Yeah.” Zayn put his seatbelt on and Liam started the car.

“Back to mine? I wanna watch a movie.” Zayn finally smiled, for the first time since he’d laid eyes on their uninvited guest.

“Definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that this took so long to get up! 
> 
> Also - pleeease leave me comments. Comments are my absolute favorite thing. I love reading what you guys think/feel/expect to happen. It totally fuels my writing muse. 
> 
> I also kept Harry's long hair in this chapter - just because I am still in denial that he cut it all off.


	3. III

_In a city of fools, I was careful and cool,_

_But they tore me apart like a hurricane..._

_A handful of moments I wished I could change.  But I was carried away._

'Therapy' – All Time Low

ZAYN

The car ride was quiet, the soft hum of the radio the only noise between them. Some pop song played on low. Liam had a hand on Zayn’s leg in a way that he didn’t assume was sexual, but more just for comfort. It felt nice – the touch more than welcomed.

“Liam?” He asked softly, breaking the silence between them.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Everything.” Liam smiled softly and Zayn couldn’t help but do the same. He wasn’t sure really what he was so greatful for – there was just so much that he loved about Liam, that he loved about being around him. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to let that go, even if he had to. It was a hard thing to think about.

The rest of the ride was quiet, Zayn having turned up the radio when a song they both recognized came on and he listened as Liam sang along softly. He felt at home.

 

Once they found their way back to Liam’s flat, it was quiet. All the lights were off and there was a thin layer of dust covering most of the discs in Liam’s collection. It was endearing – almost – that he realized that he hadn’t watched a film in so long. He blushed softly as he cleared the dust away with his hand before pulling something out and pressing it into the DVD player. He didn’t think it was weird. He didn’t even care what they were doing – as long as he was with him. It was nice to be able to just spend the time together, alone. 

The movie played in the background but he wasn’t really paying any attention. There was something about a dog – but that was really all he picked up. Liam was laying on his shoulder, fingers twisting around a little loose thread on his jeans. It was such a small act of affection that made his heart twist up in a way he couldn’t really explain. But – then again – everything about Liam made his heart feel tighter.

He let Liam put an arm around him, let the other man place little, fluttering kisses around his neck and jaw and smiled into the touch. It felt nice to have such gentle touches after such a stressful day.

The guilt was really the hardest to get himself past. He hadn’t intended for Louis to be there. Just the fact that he had been and had made both he and Harry so uncomfortable seemed to have ruined the entire evening. That was perhaps what was making him feel the worst. He hated the idea of making Liam at all uncomfortable.

“I’m tired.” Liam said softly, voice getting deeper like it always did when he was slipping into sleep and out of consciousness. Zayn just smiled softly and ran his fingers through the other man’s hair. It had grown out a bit since he’d first met him – the short, professional looking, buzz cut changing into something a little longer and boyish looking. He loved it, loved that he could run his fingers through it.

“Get some sleep then, yeah?”

“Mm, yeah.” That was really all it took before he felt Liam relax against him, his breathing falling even. It was such a peaceful thing to watch him sleep, to watch the way that his chest rose and fell with each breath. The breaths made him smile, just knowing that he was alive. The words that Aurora had spoken – _let him die –_ were still ringing in his head. Letting him die didn’t seem like something he could let himself do – whether it was Liam or anyone else.

So with each breath from the other boy, he allowed himself to relax. All he needed to do was realize that he was alive for now. For now was all he could really know was for certain – but it was enough.

 

They’d both managed to fall asleep on the couch, Zayn resting his head on Liam’s shoulder – somehow switching their positions through the night. He stood up, watching as the sun came up for a few moments before making his way to the kitchen. Food was a bit of a limited resource in his flat, considering he didn’t _need_ it. Just liked it sometimes. But being at Liam’s was nice – a reminder of how he had once been human. He loved seeing the food stocked up on his shelves, various kinds of coffees and teas sitting in their own little baskets.

Maybe he’d go shopping since he was spending more time here. It wasn’t a thought that had really passed through his head before, the idea of Liam sticking around with him for long enough to really need things to be done that were so domestic.

He liked the idea.

But it was barely half five and Liam didn’t typically rise until near eight – so he just returned to his spot on the couch, resting his head back against Liam’s chest where he’d spent the previous night. It was comfortable. He liked listening to the way Liam’s heart would beat and the slow rumble of the soft snore that he could really only hear if he really listened for it.

He was so close to falling back asleep, the comfort just enveloping him before he heard a voice.

“You’ve gotten awfully attached to a human.” Zayn’s head turned to see Louis standing there, arms crossed. He managed not to jump, eyes flicking over to the other man with a glare. The anger always seemed to flare whenever Louis decided to show up unannounced. Something about being around the man when he didn’t have to be got under his skin in a way he didn’t ever want to admit to.

“What exactly do you want, _Lewis?”_ It wasn’t a surprise to find him standing there, showing up unannounced. It was something he’d gotten used to over the years of knowing him. But him showing up when he was with someone else was something he wasn’t used to. Usually Louis at least could respect his privacy. But, perhaps not this time. Their boundaries had gotten awkwardly blurred over the years, and Zayn knew that was something that they desperately needed to fix.

Louis clicked his tongue at the name before pouting out a lip out, tilting his head to the side. Zayn knew he hated when people mispronounced his name. So, maybe that was why he only did it when he didn’t want the other man around. It was usually a hint that was well received from the other – but this time he seemed to just ignore it. That only made Zayn more upset. “Oh, come on Zaynie. No need to play like that.”

“Is that what you think this is? A game?” He was certain that if looks could kill, Louis would be dead. He just wanted to have a comfortable day with his Liam. But it didn’t seem like Louis would allow that.

“Well I am having quite a bit of fun making you uncomfortable.”

Zayn’s eyes flicked over to the sleeping boy. He still seemed perfectly fine, undisturbed. That much allowed Zayn to relax a little. The last thing he needed was Liam waking to see an uninvited guest in his home. That would only lead to Liam assuming he let him in and he was certain that wouldn’t turn out well at all.

“I don’t get –“

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. Play dumb all you like _Zayn –_ I’m running out of patience for your shit.” His voice was getting louder, and Zayn’s eyebrows furrowed. He really had no idea what Louis was talking about. He’d gotten the clue that the other man didn’t like him – he’d just never really gotten the answer of why.

“Be quiet! He’s sleeping.” He stood, finally, walking over to the slightly smaller man. It was an awkward defense, to try and shield Liam from Louis.

“Yeah, of course he is. It’s all about this kid with you isn’t it? He’s a _human!_ He’s going to die whether it’s now or whether it’s in seventy years. Then he’s going to leave and he’ll likely not get the same job we’ve got – and then you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that you just wasted –“ Zayn was fuming. He knew this. He knew the reality and what was likely to happen. He knew all of it and it tortured him almost every time he felt himself getting happier with Liam. But it wasn’t something he could control, he wanted to be happy while he could. But Louis bringing it up – rubbing the cruel reality all over his face – made him angrier than he had been in a very long time.

“Get out.” He spat.

“No.”

“Then let’s not do this here.” He didn’t want to wake Liam. Especially like this. He wasn’t ready to explain to Liam what he was. He wasn’t sure he ever could.

“No, I think I’d rather do this right here, actually.” Louis grinned softly, walking over to the couch with quick steps. “Liam, are you in there? Helloo? Wake up.” The other man shuffled, but didn’t wake. But even that was enough to bring out the anger in Zayn – enough to finally act on what he’d wanted to do lately. Zayn ground his teeth, grasping Louis’ arm and closing his eyes a moment before he found himself back in his home away from Earth. A skill he’d taken many years to master, but it was convenient. Especially being able to take someone else with him.

“Why do you have it out for me, Louis? I don’t understand what I’ve done to you to deserve everything you’ve done to me. Please just. At least tell me _why._ ” Louis stared at him for a long moment, the silence deeply uncomfortable. It was making Zayn’s head spin. The sudden turn of emotions that was leaving him confused and feeling empty.

“You really don’t remember, do you?” The other man’s face softened.  He almost looked sad.

“What should I remember?”

“Before you died. We were… friends. Well, we were actually about to be wed.” Zayn stared at him a moment. He wasn’t sure if it was true or not. His life was clear in some parts but still hazy in others, something Aurora had said would clear over time. It never had, though.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Its not allowed. No one’s allowed to tamper with the new arrival’s memories. Or any memories. Aurora said you would remember in time and I waited and waited and tried to do things that would make you remember – that would remind you of what we had before – but you never did! You just _forgot_ me! Like I meant _nothing!”_ Louis was screaming, suddenly. Voice nearly shaking the walls.

Zayn wasn’t sure what else to do, so he just wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and felt him relax. It was an odd thing to do; it felt wrong after so many years of the burning hatred he’d felt inside of himself for the other. “If I remembered, I’m sure we were really close, but I don’t –“

“Of course you don’t.”

“I’m sorry. Just. I can’t do anything about my memory and neither can you so just bugger off, would you?” Louis disappeared shortly after that with a scowl on his face.

 

The incident didn’t really leave Zayn’s thoughts.

Of course he’d always known in a way that Louis wasn’t really the best person for him to have trusted. But when he said things like that – when he made claims that Zayn had no way to prove true or false – it was hard for him to find truth in it.

He’d gone back to Liam’s after trying to get his thoughts straight. It had ended with him leaving a note and leaving because he couldn’t sleep. His mind was spinning faster than he was comfortable enough to handle, so it wasn’t long before he found himself sitting at home just trying to calm himself down.

He’d gotten a text later that day from the other man, a small smile making way onto his face as he joined him at his work for coffee once again. It seemed like everything was normal, but the feelings deep in his chest were off in a way that made it feel amost wrong to be there. Like he didn’t belong.

He knew he needed to sort some things out before he could return to how things had been before what Louis had said. It had just been a harsh confirmation of his fears that he certainly hadn’t wanted to hear – but he had, and now he had to think about it. They made small talk for the majority of the small break that he knew Liam had, but really all he was thinking about was when – or if – he was going to come back.

There were so many decisions and choices that he had to make that he wasn’t sure he was ready to make.

“Zayn, love, you okay?” Liam asked softly, placing his hand on top of Zayns.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” He lied, giving his most convincing smile.

“Good. I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you, too.”

 

Zayn didn’t go back to Liam’s.

Maybe it was because his head was too full with the crazy thoughts that had morphed away from Louis and back to his life when he’d been alive. Or maybe it was the terrible and lingering fear that he was going to have to let Liam die eventually. Louis had had a point – and it was making his heart hurt.

He was too attached to a human for his own good. Liam would die – whether it was soon or whether it was later – and he’d be alone.

It was an odd thing to try and prevent something he knew he couldn’t. Preventing pain was something a human would always try to do – and a bad habit he’d carried with him throughout his afterlife – which almost always failed. In the end, the pain was still there. Whether it was dulled to an afterthought or still hit at full force, it was always there. He knew that running wouldn’t do anything but make it hurt worse later, yet he still couldn’t bring himself to leave his thoughts and go find Liam.

 

That day, he decided to actually do something productive. He went to what he considered his human job – painting murals he was hired around town to paint. He wasn’t sure if he really considered it a job since he enjoyed it so much, but he wasn’t sure what else to call it. Painting put him at ease, put his mind in a calmer place and helped him feel better no matter what it was that was troubling him.

Today it was a mural on the side of a tattoo shop he often was hired to re-paint. It was a shame, at times, when he had to paint over his own work to repaint something different, but other times he didn’t mind too much.

Today, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was thinking. “What do you want on there this month, Tom?” He asked, walking inside of the shop with white paint spread all over his clothes and face. The white paint always seemed to get all over him – even more than the colored paints.

“I’m thinking some kind of lion? With maybe watercolors in the background.”

“The lion in the center, right?”

“Yeah, that sounds cool.”

“Gotcha. See you in a few hours.” He smiled softly before making his way back outside, grabbing the case of spray paints he always brought with him and started. There was no Liam on his mind in that moment, there was no Louis on his mind in that moment. There was nothing on his mind while he was painting except for the soft curves of the Lion’s fur and the sharp points of each of the teeth.

It took him nearly seven hours to finish the main parts of the painting – the rest he’d be back later to finish – and he was more than satisfied. Tom wrote him out a check for three hundred dollars, the typical amount they agreed on when he painted for him – and he left with a small smile on his face.

It was a productive day.

 

The bad feelings didn’t come until much later in the night. He wasn’t sure where they came from, really. He’d just been sitting in his apartment, a re-run of some show playing in the background as he stared off into space. The voices kept his mind at bay, just enough to keep him from thinking too much and getting too sad.

He laid down on the couch, pulling two pillows up, one for under his head and one to hold on to while he attempted to drown out the thoughts. He just missed Liam.

It wasn’t working. Before long, he was already thinking about what Louis had said again – how Liam would be gone in a blink of an eye and there wouldn’t be anything he could do about it. He’d be gone sooner or later and in the end that was just what happened to humans. They died.

It was such a strange thing to think about how people believed they’d be able to see the people they loved again in the afterlife, but he’d never once been able to see his family or any of the friends he remembered having while he was alive.

It really was a shame that even in death relationships couldn’t be reunited.

“You’re sulking.” Harry said, startling Zayn out of his thoughts. He just groaned, pulling his throw pillow over his face to try and shield Harry away. If he was here, on Earth, without someone forcing him to be here, Zayn could only assume that there was something important that he needed to say. There was no way that Harry would be here without reason. He’d normally just wait until he saw him again to give him hell about being stupid.

Besides. He knew he was right, but he was never one to admit he was wrong. “Up you get, then.” His friend said, grabbing his arm and pulling him up, getting yet another groan from the smaller man.

“Let me sulk. I deserve that much.” He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He still wouldn’t admit that he was wrong.

“Zayn you can’t – “

“I know, I know. Job, or whatever. I’ve not taken a day off in four hundred years, let me take one.”

“That’s really not my choice, love. Get up. Come home.” Harry stood beside him, brushing the hair out of his face and smiling softly, “Louis has gone missing and – well – Aurora wants to speak to you about it.”

“Missing? How on _earth_ does he always find a way to make my existence harder?” Harry laughed at that, giving a small shrug. “Speaking of Earth,” He said, standing finally, “You’re actually here. Without me having to drag you?”

“Yeah, don’t get used to it.” Zayn rolled his eyes and let Harry take the lead to find Aurora. He wasn’t sure what he could have had to do with the other man going missing – but maybe he did. Maybe Louis had actually gone a bit crazy after their little argument. Whatever it was, he couldn’t say he was too bothered.

It was still night – Harry had said that he just needed to come get him before he got too deep in his sulking that it would be too hard to get him to come out of it. So, when they returned home, they went to Harry’s house.

Harry’s house was his favorite place away from Earth.

Everything was so well decorated – the white toned out by just enough color that everything seemed to match so well without feeling at all empty. Harry’d said he’d been some kind of artist when he was alive – though he couldn’t remember exactly what kind – and that was what gave him the knack for being able to place things together so perfectly.

“Would you like to sleep with me tonight?” Harry asked softly, smiling at his friend.

“Yeah, please.” Zayn liked to be with people when he felt too terrible. He liked to be around someone who he knew wouldn’t poke or prod or force information out of him he really didn’t want to share. Harry probably knew everything that had happened anyway, considering his irritating little knack for watching everything, but the fact that he didn’t bring naything up that Zayn didn’t want to discuss was much appreciated.

He fell asleep on the left side of the bed – since Harry had never once let anyone else take the right – and slept soundly. The burdensome thoughts were still at the top of his mind, but he wasn’t going to let them trouble him much longer. He knew that things would be better eventually – he’d figure out a solution to this just like he always did. It wasn’t too hard.

 

Harry woke him far too early. The sun had just barely come over the peaks of the clouds and he glared when he heard the other man’s voice trying to rouse him from sleep. “Zayn, wake up. It’s time for me to go to work and time for you to go speak with Aurora.”

“Too early.”

“No, not too early.” Harry laughed softly, pulling the blanket away from Zayn’s body to force him to get up.

“Alright, alright, I’m awake.”

“That’s my boy.” Zayn groaned again, tossing a pillow at Harry’s face which got a laugh

 

“We know you two got in an argument last night – nearly all of us could hear your shouting.” Was the first thing Aurora said, her back facing the two of them as she fixed herself a cup of coffee.

Zayn’s face heated and he ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah – I um, we did have a bit of a disagreement.”

“About your lives before death, right?” She finally turned to face him, a blank expression on her face.

“So it’s true, then?” He wasn’t even sure how to react – how to feel about this.

“Yes. It is quite rare for two people who had a relationship during life to be placed in the same career path after death. But, your skills landed you here and he was placed here. An odd act of fate, I suppose.”

“Then why can’t I remember?”

“That was a part of the agreement. Upon your placement, Louis had to agree to be removed from your memories in order for the both of you to stay here. It was supposed to be temporary – just to prevent it interfering with your job but… you never regained your memories. Even two hundred years after you should have.” Zayn blinked a few times, confusion making his chest feel tight.

“I don’t understand.”

“This might have something to do with Louis’ disappearance. He’s been very distraught about your memories for many years, though I think you telling him that what he feared most was true may have had a very negative effect on him.”

“So this is _my_ fault?”

“No. His actions certainly aren’t your doing. But we do want you to be put in charge of finding him.”

“I wouldn’t even know where he’d go – I can’t.”

“Well, we know he must be somewhere on Earth.”

“Why?”

“He’s taken your assignment with him.” Zayn’s heart fell. He felt sick suddenly, and he almost couldn’t breath.

“You feel strongly for this human, don’t you?”

“Yes. I – he means a lot to me.”

“Then perhaps we can make a deal.” Zayn quirked an eyebrow. “Louis has broken many rules with what he is doing and what he has done in recent years. We’ve overlooked them simply because he didn’t seem to have the intention to do them again. But now, he needs to be returned for his judgement.” She spoke softly, walking a few steps to look out the window, her heels tapping softly. “If you bring him back, you can keep your relationship with the human, even after death. Memories and all.”

“Deal.” He said it without even a trace of a second thought. He knew how much being with Liam – or at least having the chance to be with Liam – could make him happier. He knew that the thought of having a life with the other man could change his mood faster than anything else could.

 

It was a sudden feeling that he’d sold a part of himself away that he wasn’t willing to give up. He’d shown Aurora that he had strong feelings for a human. She’d allowed it – in a way – and nearly approved of it. She’d given him an ultimatum. Give her what she wants and he could get what he wants. There wasn’t anything wrong with it – at least it didn’t seem like it.

He just couldn’t imagine exactly what it was that Louis was thinking. He could understand that he was hurting, he could understand that he wasn’t thinking straight – but what he was doing here was going to change everything in his existence for a long time. If he was endangering a human, then he couldn’t really imagine how hard things were going to turn for him.

Now all they really had to focus on was where to begin with finding him.

“Where should we start?” Harry asked softly, a hand placed on his shoulder.

“You’re going to help me?” Zayn asked, eyebrows raising and a smile making it’s way onto his face. He wasn’t sure why it was such a shock that Harry wanted to help him, but he was smiling nonetheless.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s not your job.”

“I consider it my duty to help you be happy, Zayn. You’re my best friend and I know how much this Liam means to you, so if doing this means that you’ve got a chance to be happy with him in the future, I’ll gladly help you.” Harry was smiling in a way that he couldn’t consider anything but genuine.

“You know this means you’ll have to spend time on Earth again, right?” He said with a little laugh, trying to keep himself from feeling the overwhelming happiness and greatfulness he had for Harry that was threatening to make him cry.

“Well, of course. I do have a pair of clothes that aren’t white.” Zayn raised his eyebrows and smiled softly. He wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with the stress, but he would figure it out eventually.

 

 

 

 

LIAM

When he’d woken to no Zayn beside him, he couldn’t keep himself from pouting softly. The note said that he’d been unable to sleep and decided to head home for the night so he couldn’t bother him with being awake – but he wasn’t sure why something so simple left him feeling so sad. He ended up falling back asleep a bit later, this time in his own bed, and curled up with his blanket and pillow.

His alarm went off at seven – three hours later – and it was much too early for him to be able to function. Usually mornings wouldn’t even faze him, but maybe it had been the loss of Zayn’s warmth beside him and the change in how he slept that left him feeling so unrested. He wasn’t sure.

But he still climbed out of bed and dragged himself to the shower like he did every morning. It was getting slightly out of hand that he needed to be around Zayn as much as he felt he did. There were times when Zayn wasn’t around that things just felt wrong. He couldn’t really even explain it. There was some kind of dependency there that was forming that maybe he thought should be considered borderline unhealthy. But neither of them had done anything that made it seem so, so it never became a problem.

He’d thought that Zayn was just as dependent on him as he was on him. It had felt like it, at least. But maybe he’d been wrong.

That entire day at work, those were the thoughts that went through his head. As he wrote emails and punched numbers and filed through customer complaints, he wasn’t sure what to feel. He sent a little text to Zayn, just hoping to hear something from him.

The most terrifying thought that had passed through his head that day had been that he’d done something wrong to chase Zayn away. So the little, “ _come get some coffee with me? On the house xxx”_ was maybe just a little out of anxiety.

But he wouldn’t admit that if anyone asked.

So when he went down to the lobby at his lunch break and found Zayn typing away at his cell phone with two cups of coffee in hand, he couldn’t help the little chuckle.

“I told you I’d pay.”

“Oh, you did. I guess. Marie just had to see me and made our coffees up without even having to be asked. She’s quite the server.”

“That’s great to hear, actually. I’ve been dealing with so many complaints today, I might be going grey.”

“I think you’d still be pretty handsome if you went grey.”

“Mm. I know.” Liam couldn’t help but smile, sighing softly when his phone rang, alerting him that it was time for him to head back up to his office. The elevator ride seemed slower than it usually did as he watched Zayn walk out of his building with his phone in his hand. It all seemed so familiar, though so different. Zayn seemed to walk away with a kind of haste that made him feel like he didn’t want to be there.

But those weren’t the things he needed to be worrying about at that moment. For the time being, he needed to be worrying about work and the things that were immediate and needed his attention.

So he sat back at his desk, checking emails and going to a meeting that he knew he was needed at even if he really didn’t want to be there. It was days like this that his mind wondered in directions that he didn’t want it to. But he’d never really learned how to stop the thoughts from taking over and spinning and spinning inside of his head until he had a headache that he knew he’d only chase down with whiskey later in the night.

He went home that night and did just that. Maybe he took a few too many shots when Zayn didn’t respond to his texts or answer his calls. Or maybe he just really felt the need to get drunk for the first time in a while.

Whatever it was, he didn’t mind. He fell asleep feeling warm and tired, eyelids droopy as music from his phone played softly in the background of his room, lulling him to sleep.

 

Liam had woken with a pounding headache and a terrible pain in his stomach. His breath was hard to catch and his vision was blurry. With a cough, he blinked a few times to bring in his surroundings. He was moving – the motion making his stomach churn – in some kind of vehicle. His arms were tied behind his back both at his elbows and wrists in a knot that kept him from moving his arms more than just a few centimeters.

He took a deep breath, glancing around the car. It was a small car with tinted windows and a typical two-passenger front seat set up. He was in the back, and a man was sitting in the front with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting against the opened window. It was dark outside, he could tell that much. “You’re awake.” Was all he said, and Liam just blinked. He couldn’t remember anything past when he’d gotten home from work earlier that day. He certainly couldn’t remember having anything to do with Louis since that day at the diner.

“Louis.” He said softly, breathing suddenly more labored. He hadn’t entirely understood why Zayn had felt so unease around the man until that moment. He tried to move forward, but the knots on his arms seemed to be secured around the seatbelt loops. He couldn’t move, but that was probably what Louis wanted.

“I’m sure you’re curious about what’s happening.” The other man said again, voice still soft. “But all you really need to know is that I don’t like to share what’s mine.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why don’t you pull over and let me loose so we can talk about this a bit more civilly?”

“No, I think you’re fine back there. I’m sure you can tell you’re much larger than I am. I wouldn’t win in a fight and I’m not looking to take you on by myself.”

“We don’t have to fight. We just need to talk.”

“No. Shut up.”

“Louis – listen – if it’s”

“I said _shut up.”_ He slammed on his breaks, making Liam jerk forward and his wrists take the entire blow of holding him back.

“Christ! Are you mad? You’re going to kill us!” But Louis just started laughing.

“You’re so clueless. I can’t believe Zayn still didn’t tell you after so many months. Poor little Liam left alone in the dark.” He was still laughing and maybe Liam was a bit scared.

“I can’t die, and neither can Zayn. We’re already dead.” Liam blinked again. So. Louis was crazy. It made a bit more sense. “I’m his boss because he’s a Watcher – sent down here by me to make sure you reckless, stupid _fucking_ humans don’t die.” Liam figured the best thing he could do was listen. He’d taken a psychology class in Uni – he knew not to deny someone’s reality. Especially not the dangerous ones. “I wanted little Zayn to get assigned to you all along. So even in your youngest years I was there, pushing you off of bikes and making your ropes shatter when you were climbing, making that dog chase you when you were nine. It was all me. Because I was going to kill you while Zayn was assigned to keep you alive.” He sneered – it wasn’t a laugh. Now Liam was really scared. “But then you had to go and fuck it up because no one can hear your thoughts – so they consider you _valuable_ in the afterlife – so they want you dead. How ironic is that!” Louis stopped talking for a long time, at least a half an hour. Liam was just staring out the window, watching the trees pass by. He had no idea where they were.

When he started speaking again, Liam jumped at the sudden breaking of the silence.

“Not only that – what’s worse is you had to go and make him fall in love with you. You took him from _me –_ he’s _mine!”_ Louis screamed, “So now I’ve found a much more valuable use for you.”

The car pulled to the left, taking a sharp turn that made Liam’s head slam against the window. He’d managed to bite his tongue and winced at the taste of blood. He had no clue what this new purpose for him was – but maybe he’d be able to fight him off. There was that fear inside of him that he was going to die – that Louis was going to kill him in this fit of whatever he was suffering from.

It was another long while before the car came to a stop. Liam’s heart was pounding as he watched the other man twist the key and the vibrations stopped. Then he was out of the car and Liam was left alone in the silence.

 

Through the window he could see the faint outlines of two bodies and the light of what looked like a small camp fire. So, there were two of them. That only made it worse. His palms were sweaty and his heart was pounding.

All he could do was watch. The two men stood close, their hands moving in a way that seemed like they were speaking. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen, so maybe that was what made him the most afraid. Louis was obviously having some kind of delusion – some kind of break down that he was taking out on Liam. Perhaps he and Zayn had been together at one point or another and that was what was making him take out his anger on him. But really, he had no idea. He had no idea what was happening or most importantly _why._

 

It wasn’t long before they both were sitting, Liam still watching them. He tried to undo the ties on his arms, struggling to get the end of the knot in his fingers. That was all he needed – with almost his entire childhood having been in boyscouts, he was sure he could get a knot undone. But he had to at least get to the end first.

His wrists strained at the way he was bending them, his fingers brushed so slightly against the end knot and he pulled as much as he could with his finger nails, trying to get it closer. It was almost close enough to start getting it untied. He pulled again, his finger nails just long enough to be able to grasp at the grainy rope and get the end where he needed it to be.

He calmed his breathing the best he could to be able to focus on what he was doing.

He slowly got the first loop undone, letting out a small sigh of relief when he saw that Louis and the other man were still talking.

His nerves were still wound tightly, the fear still resting in the pit of his stomach. But he needed to do something to stop whatever this was from happening. He wasn’t just going to sit back and let Louis do what he had planned. He wasn’t ready to die just yet.

The second loop was undone and then the third before his wrists were free. He wasn’t tied to the buckle between the seats anymore and he was able to sit forward. Louis and sent a glance in his direction, almost as if he was speaking about him when the other man looked his way as well, and he knew that was the time to make his move. He climbed into the front seat, pressing the _lock_ button on all of the doors and felt for the key that was still in the ignition. It was. He was beyond greatful for such a small thing.

Once the doors were locked, he went back to work on getting the rest of the ropes off of him. Louis and the man were at the car, Louis tapping on the window by the time he had the ropes off and was able to drive. “Liam, you do know I have a spare right?” Louis asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. The other man stood in front of the car, almost knowing he couldn’t run him over. “Plus I can just do this.” Louis said, suddenly appearing in the passenger’s seat and Liam went pale.

“Take me home, Louis.”

“No, I’ve got something much better planned.” He snatched the key from the ignition and tucked it into his pocket. “Get out of the car. Now.”

“No.”

“You’re stupider than I thought you were.” Louis got out of the car, leaving the door open and going to open the driver’s side. The other man had a gun that was now pointed directly at Liam’s head. He suddenly couldn’t breathe again.

“You can make this easy, or you can make this hard. It’s your choice, Liam.” The unidentified man spoke, clicking the safety off on the gun.

“I still don’t even understand what’s going on.” The man chuckled softly under his breath.

“Louis and I have made a deal. See, it benefits the both of us… But, you may not like the outcome.”

“What are you talking about?” The man grabbed his arm, pushing him down into a chair beside the fire. They each sat on opposite sides of him.

“I’m not sure what your religious beliefs happen to be, but whether or not you believe in these things doesn’t mean that they are or aren’t real. Louis here is what you might have called a Guardian Angel as a child.”

“Some guardian angel.” Liam said with a sneer – the sarcasm becoming some kind of defense.

“Shut up. Don’t interrupt.” Louis chimed in, humming happily.

“I’m perhaps what you’d call a demon. Though, the title doesn’t make me sound all that great now does it? So I prefer deal maker.” Liam swallowed. “Louis here has sold me your soul in return for his beloved Zayn to get his memories back.”

“He can’t just sell _my_ soul!” He had no idea what was going on. But they both seemed so convinced that he was terrified.

“Well, a human can’t, no. But Louis here isn’t human. So he has a bit more… wiggle room… perhaps. So yes, he can.”

“What happens to me, then?”

“You don’t die immediately. But once your soul is signed over, once you _do_ die, you return to Hell with me, where you become a toy of mine.” His heart was speeding up again. None of it seemed real, but what if it was?

“Why me?” Louis laughed again.

“It’s an easy answer, really. I thought you were smarter than this. You’ve taken something that’s mine. Plus, you’re successful and have a gift that the people in heaven desire. That makes you a much wanted accessory for people like Simon here.” Liam was speechless, unsure of what there was to say. He really had no idea of what was happening – all of this was nonsense, really. “Plus, once the deal is signed, it gives me the _actual_ ability to kill you. Being what I am – I am unable to kill a human under my own doings. I can hurt you, as I have most of your life. But I’ve never had the ability to kill you. Once you have no claim over your soul, you’re not human. Then, I can kill you.” Louis seemed so smug, so sure. Liam wanted to throw up.

“Now, Liam, come seal this deal. You’ve to kiss me.”

“No.”

“Liam.” The man – _Simon –_ growled.

“I don’t want to sell my soul.”

“If you don’t, I’ll shoot you.” That was Simon’s answer.  It seemed he had the choice between dying or playing along in their game. He took a few more deep breaths, the gun seeming to control him as he stood on shaky legs.

            “Louis.” Came a familiar voice and Liam stopped.

“Zayn.” Louis responded. “Just in time to watch little Liam here give his soul away. But – oh, right, you can’t do anything about it.”

“No, maybe I can’t. But Harry can.” He said with a little smile, watching as Louis paled.

“Hello Simon, Louis, Liam.” Harry said, a little chipper in his voice. He’d never seen the other man this happy to be on Earth, so he couldn’t help the little laugh. “Louis, why don’t you return home before you find yourself in more trouble than you already are. Simon, you are well aware that this human has been previously placed under protection and your rights to touch him and take his soul have – by previously set and agreed upon standards – been revoked.”

“Zayn I – I was doing this for us! I wanted to get your memories back… we could be happy again!” Louis seemed afraid. Liam was more than confused, now.

“Louis – you’ve never cared about my happiness. Don’t pretend you do.” Zayn responded with a harsh tone.

“I said return home, Louis. Don’t make me summon Aurora. You know how much she hates being on Earth.” Louis glared again, standing still a moment before he was gone. Liam fell over, the fear growing more and more as he continued to watch the events before him. Simon seemed to be gone, too. Now he was just left alone with an angry looking Zayn and Harry.

 

“Let’s go home, Liam. I’ve got a lot to explain, it seems.”

 

He was in shock the entire car ride back to his home. It was several hours of driving, the silence slowly driving him more and more into the stress he’d been feeling already. Harry had taken the back seat with the claim that he wanted to sleep, and Liam had only glanced into the back once to watch how uncomfortable it looked that he was so spread out in such a tiny space.

“What just happened, Zayn?” Zayn was driving, his lips seemed to be chewed so badly that they were bleeding.

“I know it seems really crazy, okay? I know it’s an awful lot to take in right now but… most of the things Louis said were true. I wish I didn’t have to tell you like this. I really… I wasn’t going to tell you yet.”

“Tell me what? That you’re a part of the crazy club and you think you’re dead, too?”

“Liam –“

“What do you want me to believe here, Zayn? What the hell is there to believe? What was all of that back there? Some kind of elaborate prank?” Liam felt numb, like he was going to break down. His body felt like it was vibrating, like he wasn’t really there in that moment. He felt like he was floating. It was terribly unsettling.

“I wish none of this was true, I really do.”

“How are you going to sit here and tell me that you’re not a human? That none of you are human?”

“I don’t know. It’s true. I don’t know what else to tell you or how else to prove it to you, Liam. It’s your choice of whether or not you’re going to believe it.”

“This is just too much. I can’t.” He took a deep breath, but his lungs didn’t want to expand the entire way. He couldn’t catch a full breath. “Louis knew almost everything that happened to me as a child – he knew all of these strange things that happened to me that nearly killed me through my life. What is that?” Maybe that was what he needed to know. He needed to know why he’d been thrown into the center of all of this, why all of these people who seemed to have the same strange beliefs all chose him to be the little pawn of their games.

He didn’t want to play them anymore, he just wanted to go home.

“I… really wish I could tell you. He wasn’t assigned to you, and I really don’t understand why he chose you to torment, but those will be hopefully found out in the coming months when he’s judged again.”

“Judged?” Zayn nodded.

“In the afterlife, you have an initial judgement and a secondary judgement. There are third forms for people who break rules during their existence.”

“I really didn’t want to think you were crazy, too, Zayn.” Zayn gave a small, sad smile.

“It’s okay if you don’t believe it, Liam. It’s not my duty to force you or convince you. I’ll take you home and leave you alone. I’m sorry all of this happened to you. If you’d like I can have it so all of this will be like it never happened in your memories.”

“Zayn – quit it. You can’t do those things.”

“Do you want me to prove it to you?”

“I –“ He was torn. He could keep playing in on their little prank, or he could just end this and go home and pretend none of it happened. “Yes. Prove it.” He couldn’t. He felt too strongly for Zayn to not at least let him have a chance. Maybe this was crazy, maybe none of it made any sense, but he could try and believe it if all of these people believed it so strongly, too.

“Okay. I need you to watch me very closely. No pranks, no tricks. I’m going to keep driving the car, but you’re not going to see me here. We’re going to go around this turn, but I’m not going to be sitting in this seat.” Liam’s eyes widened. Was he going to jump out of the car? But instead he just nodded, biting his lip again.

He watched Zayn closely as he’d instructed – watching his hands. He watched for a few seconds before – as promised – Zayn was gone and there was nothing there, yet the wheel turned and the car went safely around the turn. His heart fell into his stomach.

Maybe it was true.

“I’m going to sleep.” He said softly, voice cracking as he leaned against the window and closed his eyes. This was all far too much – he wasn’t sure what to think what to do where to go. His mind was spinning, his heart was pounding. He was scared.

 

When he woke again, he was in his own bed, duvet tucked around him and everything felt a bit empty. The memories were deep inside of his chest and they felt as if they were weighing him down. He called his assistant and told her he wouldn’t be coming in to work that day and to tell everyone on his behalf that they could go home at four instead of five. He never liked to call in without giving his employees something in return, too.

But when he crawled out of bed, Zayn was on his couch, face so soft while he slept and his mouth hung open just slightly. He didn’t know what to do to be able to keep going how they had been after the previous night. He just went into the kitchen and made himself up a cup of coffee, sitting at the table to think.

Zayn had never once acted crazy before this. He’d never once given him a reason to think he was anything but the perfect man to be with. He seemed to be everything that he’d ever wanted. He put his head down before looking over again and just watching Zayn shuffle. That usually meant that he was about to wake up, so he sighed softly and waited.

He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for.

“Good morning.” He said softly when he watched Zayn sit up.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Zayn said and ran a hand through his hair. He stood, looking as if he was about to run towards the door.

“You don’t have to leave.”

“Are you sure? I um. I know I said that I’d just leave you alone and I don’t want to go back on my word. That’s not something I like to do.”

“I know, Zayn. I don’t want you to leave.” He said softly, standing and making a second cup of coffee for the other man before he took it over to him. “Last night was kind of overwhelming. I’m still not entirely sure I believe everything that you guys said – but I guess there isn’t much of an explanation. So I’ll let it stay at that.”

“Okay. That’s your choice. I’ll respect that.” Zayn gave a smile and Liam sat on the couch, motioning for him to come beside him.

So he did. They sat together and Liam put his arm back around the smaller man. It was almost as if things were just the same as they’d been before everything happened.

“Zayn?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” Zayn just smiled softly, a light blush on his cheeks as he nodded. So he did. He leaned forward, arm snaking away from around his back as he pulled the other man closer, pulling their lips together as he kissed him for the first time in what felt like forever. It had been too long since he’d been able to kiss Zayn properly, since he’d been able to fuck him properly.

So he kissed him so long that his lips were sore, until he felt his cock hardening in his boxers and he was out of breath. “Wanna fuck you, yeah?”

“Any time.” Zayn said with a grin, his pupils already blown out in the same way Liam had noticed they always got when they were about to have sex. It was one of those things that Liam knew he’d never get tired of. “Bedroom?”

“Sure.” He said, standing and taking Zayn’s hand in his own. The walk to the room was barely a few yards, but they couldn’t keep their lips away from each other the entire time. Zayn’s shirt was gone somewhere during the journey and Liam’s pants undone and around his ankles. As soon as they were in the room, Zayn was pressed against the wall as Liam attached his lips to his neck, kissing and sucking little marks into the tanned skin. The little groan that came from the other man’s throat was just enough to encourage him to keep going.

“Wanna make you feel good.”

“You always do.”

He reached down, then, to cup Zayn’s dick through his boxers, squeezing softly and getting a beautiful little moan from between his lips. Their breaths were both already fast – Liam’s heart was beating fast and he could feel Zayn’s pulse too through the little kisses to his neck. It wasn’t long before he lifted Zayn, hands on his thighs – laughing softly at the little shriek he got from the other – and set him down on the bed.

It was barely a moment before he was kissing Zayn’s chest, sucking marks in random places as he kissed down and took a nipple into his mouth. He’d always loved how sensitive Zayn was there, how the noises he would make would echo through the room and make him just want to keep going.

The nub hardened between his teeth as Zayn groaned softly in pleasure above him. “Liam – Liam stop teasing me, please. Just want you.”

“’M gonna suck you. Then I’ll fuck you, kay?” Zayn groaned again, his breaths only picking up as Liam pulled his jeans down his legs and tossed them away somewhere in the room, followed by his boxers. Zayn’s cock slapped up against his belly once it was free from the fabric.

He took the tip into his mouth, swirling his tongue around until he heard the moans coming from Zayn’s mouth. He’d learned enough about what Zayn liked in bed to know that his favorite place to get attention when he was getting a blow job was the little part of the vein right beneath the head. He swirled his tongue there a long moment before pushing his head down, taking his entire length into his mouth, feeling the way Zayn’s hands came up to his hair and pulled soflty, moaning softly at the feeling of his hair pulled. It was one of his favorite things and he could only assume that Zayn had picked up on that, too.

“Liam – stop – ah, gonna come if you don’t stop.” He pulled back a moment, licking over his lips.

“Want you to come. Wanna make you come twice.” Zayn groaned as he went back, lips wrapping around his length with the intent to make his boy come this time. He wanted to completely ravish Zayn. Something inside of him made him feel like it just needed to be done – like it had been too long since they’d done this and the overlooming threat that it wouldn’t happen again just fueled him further.

He pressed his tongue in the spot right below the head, right against the vein as Zayn pulled his hair harder and came down his throat with a shout of his name. Liam pulled away with a little grin on his face, licking away a little drop that was left on his lip. “God, how did I get so lucky with you?” Zayn asked, letting go of his hair. Liam moved to the top of the bed, leaving little kisses over his jaw before kissing him again.

He could kiss him all day.

“I don’t think you’re the one that got lucky, I think I got lucky.” Zayn just snorted.

“You still wanna fuck me?”

“Always.”

“Good.”

They had a lazy day for the rest of that day. Liam fucked him slowly, the burn of the previous nights events and all of the emotions inside of him fueling all of the passion he could feel deep in his stomach. Everything he felt for Zayn was overwhelming – the love, the desire, the intense need to be around him. It was all too much and not enough at the same time.

They stayed in bed the entire day, getting up only to eat dinner late that night and to find cloths from the bathroom to clean off the dried come that Zayn was complaining about.

“Can it always be like this?” Liam asked after a long while, the TV in his room playing some odd night time sit com. Zayn had sleep hooded eyes and just looked up at Liam with a slightly confused expression.

“Us. Can we always be like this? Together.”

“I’d like that. I’d love to be with you for as long as possible.”

“Then what’s stopping us?”

“Nothing.” Zayn smiled softly, head against Liam’s chest as he drifted off into sleep. He couldn’t help but watch him with a smile, just hoping that in the end everything would turn out exactly how they both wanted it to.

If he believed in what had happened the night before or not, he still couldn’t quite tell. But what he did believe in was the love he felt for the man sleeping beside him. In most of the relationships he’d had in his life, any love or passion he’d ever felt had been in the heat of the moment, nothing was ever true like he felt it was with Zayn.

He was happy here, happy with what was happening. He’d figure out the rest later, but if he didn’t do it right away, well, he wasn’t too worried.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the extremely late update!!! I've got a full time job for the summer and it consumes my entire life. This is the final "real" chapter, as the next chapter will be an epilogue. I hope you've enjoyed! Please leave me comments and kudos and all of those wonderful things as they make me very happy :-)


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn centric, short on the Liam, chapter. I didn't want to draw this out any further than it needed to - so enjoy the ending!

_Just enough time to plan an escape route_

_I put my map on the wall in the basement_

_Not quite a victory to run from your problems_

_But it's the only plan that I got_

-‘Escape Route’, Paramore

ZAYN

At times, it might feel that the world has intentions that don’t coincide with your own.

It might feel like the world is working against you and pushing back against all of your most determined efforts so _succeed._ The only thing to do when you feel you can never succeed, is to keep trying. To keep pushing and hoping that everything will turn out how it should in the end. It can only be considered human nature to do everything in your power to gain the things that are craved, no matter how many failures are ahead.

There _are_ times when the universe will work against you, when it does wish to see you flounder in its fury, but it can’t keep up forever. Eventually, you will win. Zayn had learned this in his years of watching over the humans; he’d learned many things about the true desire that could come from _wanting_ something so deeply that it was all someone could think of.

He saw that in Louis.

Louis just did it in the kind of way that couldn’t be considered right. He found his desire in obsession and when those obsessions became too overwhelming, something inside of him cracked. Zayn just wished he could have seen the signs earlier. If he could have noticed the warning signs of Louis breaking, maybe he could have stopped all of this from happening.

But he saw it in himself, too.

His desires just weren’t malicious. He didn’t consider himself wanting something or someone to be an evil desire because he knew he’d never act in the way that his once friend had. He loved Liam, that much he knew, but if the feelings weren’t returned, he’d be able to accept that. But the feelings were returned, and he was happy. His desires were given and rewarded, and the happiness followed suit.

He woke beside Liam that day, several after what had happened with Louis, like he did every morning – beside the man who he’d tried so hard to be able to keep, even when things all seemed to be working against him.

Every morning these thoughts would play over and over again in his head, like a disc on repeat. He found himself slowly growing tired of thinking of Louis and how he’d failed Liam in doing what he should have to protect him – but then the thoughts of how he’d managed to find a way to keep both of them together in the end would come back and he’d be okay again.

Getting what he wanted was only the result of how hard he’d tried, so he was satisfied enough. He was in love, and maybe that had been the motivation, but whatever it had been, he was happy with how it had turned out. They’d get to spend the rest of Liam’s human life together, and then they’d get to spend their afterlife together, too. It was an incredible thought to think that he would actually get to have a _forever –_ a word that was so often thrown around carelessly.

Watching Liam sleep was something that he wasn’t sure he could ever grow tired of. He loved watching the little rise and fall of his chest, loved how his mouth fell open so slightly as he took breaths from his mouth rather than his nose. Sometimes he’d make little noises in his deepest sleep – little huffs or small grunts in the back of his throat when he’d roll over and move around in bed.

“Stop lookin’ at me.” Liam said, eyes opening slightly and a smile coming onto his face. He was the kind of person who could greet the mornings with a smile, even if he hadn’t slept well the night before. Zayn had slowly been able to adapt to being able to do that, to being a morning person when he would just prefer to go back to sleep. He could change a lot of things for Liam and he wouldn’t complain. So he did just that, let himself get cute and lovey with him in the mornings.

“Why would I want to stop looking at someone so beautiful?”

“Sappy.” Zayn couldn’t help the smile, kissing his cheek softly before laying back down and letting his eyes fall shut once again. He knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep any time soon, if at all, but he was still going to enjoy the time he could spend alone with Liam. The calm now was something he could get used to, just being able to be together with nothing to worry about other than being in that moment.

He took a deep breath, smiling softly and running his fingers through Liam’s hair. It was longer than it had been when he first met him, long enough to be able to play with if he wanted to instead of the buzz cut he’d originally had. But really, he looked good regardless, so it didn’t matter how his hair was. “Are you going to sleep or are you gonna get up?” Liam asked after a while, a smile on his face from how Zayn was playing with his hair.

He knew that it was Liam’s favorite thing, so maybe that was why he enjoyed it so much. Something in him made him always want to please Liam.

“Might get up soon. Don’t have to get up till later, though. You?”

“Wanna shower.” He sat up, rolling his head to the side and popping his neck a few times. “Come with me?”

“Sure.” Liam pulled himself out of bed, tucking the duvet back underneath the matress as he always did and placing his pillow back where it was meant to be and popped his back. “That’s bad for you, you know.” Zayn said with a little laugh, getting an eyeroll from Liam before he tossed a pillow at him.

“That’s bad for my bed, you know.”

“Yeah.” He said and stood, walking to the bathroom and starting the water up.

 

 

Louis was dressed in black.

Zayn often found himself wearing black when he was on Earth – a style he’d taken a liking to in his years of finding happiness on the human plane – but in this plane black was what criminals wore. No one here wore black. Especially not all black.

Louis’ hands were clasped in front of him, head down and Zayn could see him chewing on his lips. Of course he was nervous – perhaps he was being punished for something he didn’t really need to be – but that wasn’t Zayn’s concern. Whether or not it had been some kind of breakdown or episode didn’t make him any less guilty of attempt of the highest crime their kind could commit.

Dealing with a Demon, attempting to harm and murder a human. Zayn didn’t want to think about what was going to happen to him if he was found guilty.

“Louis Tomlinson. Please take your seat.” Aurora’s voice chimed from the center of the table they were sat at. There was another table to the left, a single seat where Louis would be watched under the scrutiny of all of them. “Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, please take your seats.” They were both wearing entirely white clothing which chimed them witnesses to the crime. Anyone who was somehow involved in a case was to wear an entire, solid color during the trials. It was normal for them.

They sat in a row of sears to the right where they’d be joined by a few other witnesses who had seen some other aspects of Louis’ behavior in the last few months.

“Thank you all. We can begin.” Aurora gave her last few words before the spotlight would be taken from her. The entire council was present, something Zayn had only seen three times in his afterlife. The first time had been at his evaluation, the second at the event where Louis had been promoted to his position, and now, where Louis would likely be dragged through the dirt. It was really a coincidence.

“Alright,” The man spoke, voice echoing around. Nick Grimshaw was his name, Zayn remembered. He was the youngest on the council. “Louis Tomlinson is present before us today under the accusation of consultation with a demon as well as the intentional endangerment of a human life under his or his partner’s care.” He paused a moment, the audience entirely silent in their words but Zayn could hear the too jumbled thoughts and the surprised words being tossed around in the brains of their audience. “These crimes are being accused in the first degree. Witnesses Zayn Malik and Harry styles will be the first brought to the stand.”

Zayn was first.

His mouth was dry.

He stood when the eyes were on him, a silent command to begin. “Louis and I have been partners for nearing half a century now.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to clarify that, to make sure everyone knew he _knew_ Louis. “But in the last hundred or so years I’ve certainly noticed a… change in how he’s acted both around me and around others.” He paused again, swallowing. “I could name instances, but those are irrelevant to the case, so I won’t.” Everyone knew what he was talking about, anyway. “Three nights ago, I was summoned by Aurora, here, and informed that Louis and my most recent assignment, Liam, were missing. Presumably together. Typically, my skill of being able to read human minds would have come in handy to be able to find him, but myself, Harry, _and_ Aurora were unable to read Liam’s mind.” He paused again. “However, when I returned home with Liam that night, I was suddenly able to read his thoughts. This gives me reason to believe that not only had Louis acted in distress or in a form of a breakdown, but this had been premeditated as the only instance where watchers gifted with mind reading are unable to do so is when a demon has taken control of some portion of a human.”

“Enough!” Louis screamed, standing. No one rushed to stop him. He wouldn’t dare do anything.

“Louis, sit back down.” Aurora said, shooting a glare at the boy. “Zayn, please continue.”

He cleared his throat, “Um, I suppose that’s something Harry should have told you all, as he’s studied that field much longer than I have. But. That’s just basic knowledge for a mind reading watcher – something we’re told in the beginning. But at the beginning, we didn’t suspect a demon as he’d been assigned a watcher, which meant that someone from here had taken notice. That person had been Louis. Who claims to have caused the havoc in Liam’s life to require a watcher as well.”

“Is that all Zayn?”

“For now. Harry can maybe fill in anything I left out.” He was shaking. He knew that was the only reason Aurora had asked him if that was enough. It was too much. Louis was his friend. Harry stood, giving his signature bright smile.

“I can attest to Louis’ behavioral changes in the last century, since Zayn often comes to me when he needs someone to listen to him. But, as Zayn already said, I also don’t believe that this was done out of a sudden mental inability. I believe this was planned over many, many years. In fact, I believe it was planned over not only the childhood into the adulthood of Mr. Liam Payne, but I believe that he spent many years figuring out exactly how he could do this.

I’m sure many of you remember the incident when Zayn was to be promoted to the position Louis currently holds?” There were a few nods. “Well, I’m sure what none of you, besides the council, were aware of the fact that Louis planned the stunt that costed Zayn the blame, suspension, and his position. He didn’t attest to this for three years.”

“Harry, what does this have to do with what’s going on right now?” Aurora asked, sighing softly.

“I’m getting there.” He said with another smile. Louis was looking down. “I believe that that alone shows that Louis’ intentions for Zayn have not ever been entirely … _pure._ While Zayn wasn’t going to be responsible for Liam’s death – as he was considered reckless with a valuable gift – he was to be responsible for the transport of Liam’s soul to us. Which Louis here would have prevented in his attempt to sell Liam’s soul to Simon Cowell.For those of you who aren’t aware – Simon Cowell is one of the four demons in the underworld who will sell souls illegally – meaning without the person’s permission.” Harry paused. Zayn felt like he talked too much – that this was all too much. No one was interested anymore. He wanted to flee. “Zayn and I caught him in the middle of this act when we were sent out to find Mr. Payne.” He paused, looking around. “That’ll be all from me.” Then he sat.

Three others spoke after them. They spoke about behavior changes from Louis and one even mentioned how he’d said something about wanting to hurt Zayn. It was a little too much for him to handle, so he found himself staring down at his hands clasped in his lap. Louis’ gaze never really left him, the stare intense and heavy even if he wasn’t going to acknowledge that he was looking at him.

Really, he felt sick.

It felt like he was turning in someone who was once his best friend. Louis wasn’t going to get an easy punishment for his crimes, even that much was obvious. He hadn’t actually succeeded in his actions – so Zayn wasn’t sure he would actually be sent to Hell – but that possibility ate at his nerves and made the guilt build further beneath his skin.

He knew the options of what could happen to him. Harry had managed to walk him through most of it, since this was the main part of his job, but he wished he’d never heard any of it. It took away the element of surprise when he knew that his once-upon-a-time friend was going to suffer for lifetimes after this.

“All right.” Aurora spoke softly, “Louis, you will be escorted to a room while a result of your crimes is decided.” There was no jury. Everyone in the room would get to vote for what they believed Louis deserved.

He wished he could abstain.

Everyone would go around and pick from five common punishments for a first degree crime. None were desirable, but only the option of sending that soul to Hell was the end all of first degree crimes. Sending someone to Hell required a unanimous vote. The amount of time each would be lived could vary from a single lifetime of seventy five human years to ten lifetimes of seven hundred and fifty human years.

Zayn was sweating.

“Harry, we’ll start with you.”

“I vote banishment for two lifetimes.” That was one of the least cruel. Harry was good hearted. It was Zayn’s turn.

“I vote sending him west.” Harry turned to him and quirked an eyebrow. It was a well known expression between watchers. Sending someone west usually meant that they would be stuck in purgatory, regulating the new souls that have arrived there. It wasn’t the cruelest punishment, but it wasn’t the easiest. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to be easy on him, but he didn’t want to be hard, either.

“For how long?”

“One lifetime.” Aurora nodded, writing down his vote. He listened to others as they chimed in, a few voting for what he and Harry had decided, others picking from the other two options. One man wished to send him to purgatory for ten lifetimes – that meant he wouldn’t be a worker, just a survivor. After ten lifetimes he would have forgotten everything about who he was, and Zayn was certain he felt his heart skip a beat when he’d said that.

He’d zoned out by the time everyone had chimed in with their votes, not really coming back until he heard Aurora say his name. “Zayn,” She started, “You’re to announce the decision when Louis returns to the room. He’ll be spending three lifetimes in banishment.” He nodded. At least that wasn’t too difficult.

Louis came back, eyes on the ground and Zayn could hear the racing thoughts in his head. He was thinking about how stupid everything he’d done was, and Zayn knew then that he did feel the remorse that he needed to deserve a light punishment.

“Louis Tomlinson,” He stood. “By a vote of 7 to 4 to 3, you’ve been sentenced to three lifetimes spent banished from here. You’re to spend your days on earth, unable to be heard or be able to interact with any kind of human or demon. Should one of our kind approach you first, you will be able to be heard by them.”

Louis looked down once again.

“Is there anything else you’d like to say, Louis?” Aurora spoke from the bench. No one moved. They hadn’t been dismissed.

“Whatever deal you’ve made with them, Zayn. Don’t trust it. I’m sorry you’ve been put in the position I was put in. Don’t let it destroy you like I let it destroy me.” Zayn didn’t react. He was sure Louis was just trying to get a rise from him.

He wouldn’t let him. He’d spent far too many years allowing himself to be hurt and angered by the other man. He wouldn’t let any of that come between him and his life ever again. 7

 

 

“That was intense.” Harry didn’t speak a word to him until they’d returned to his home. Zayn felt ill. He’d watched how easily Louis had gone when the escourt took him to the room where he’d lose his ability to interact with anyone else – where he’d become similar to a soul who hadn’t found it’s way to a guide who would take it where it needed to be.

“Yeah. It was. Did you hear what he was thinking?” He responded after a moment.

“Yes, he felt bad.” Harry said simply, a sigh tagged to the end of his words. Harry did trials for miniscule offences regularly, but Zayn could tell that something this big had an affect on him that he wasn’t used to. He was certain that everyone in the room wasn’t comfortable with the events that had unfolded with the man who most of them had once looked up to. “But word says that you’re to take over his job within the next two weeks.”

“Yeah, that’s what people are saying. I’m not sure I want to take that position anymore, though.”

“Why?”

“I like interacting with humans, being around them and helping them. That job really is all just paperwork, you know? Like, it involves so little human contact.”

“I understand. I thought the same thing when I received my job. But it really is nice, being up here all the time. You know how rarely I go to Earth, even if I’m allowed to go whenever I wish.”

“I suppose.” He knew there wasn’t much holding him back besides the idea of interacting with humans. He always thought he’d been placed in his job simply because even when he was a human himself he’d loved to help others. It made sense. Everything was supposed to make sense after death but in that moment his head was spinning and he was confused beyond what he’d ever been.

He felt guilt, too. Guilt because Louis had gone crazy over some fantasy that he supposedly starred in. He knew he remembered his own life, he remembered everything. There were no gaps he felt that needed to be filled in. Nothing Louis said really made any sense, but that didn’t stop the guilt from gnawing at the inside of his stomach.

He hoped Louis wouldn’t be too resentful when he did eventually return. Purgatory would give him more than enough time to think about what he’d done and maybe even let him reflect on why he’d done it and what had really caused everything. Maybe he’d forget the fantasy that had filled his head and everything would be alright again.

 

It had been a week since he’d been on Earth. Liam wasn’t his assignment anymore, technically. Since they’d figured out it had been a situation involving demons, he was no longer under necessary protection. But that didn’t stop Zayn from checking on him more often than he should have. He hadn’t spoken to him since he’d left, and he could see that it was wearing on him.

He would be a liar if he said he didn’t notice how often he checked his phone or how he stayed up later than he should have watching the door and waiting. He hoped it wasn’t for him, because he wasn’t sure if he could go back anymore.

He’d decided he was going to accept the job.

He knew Aurora’s deal had been meant for after Liam’s death. He could – and Zayn hoped he would – live another forty or more years. That was a short amount of time for an immortal. Zayn could acknowledge that much, he knew he shouldn’t be grieving over something that could be a time frame considered a blink of an eye for some. But he wasn’t going to say he was taking it easily.

 

He needed to work something out.

“Aurora.” He said, stepping into the building she was almost always in.

“Zayn, how are you?”

“I’m well. Yourself?”

“Mm, yes. All is well. How can I help you?”

“Our deal still stands, right?”

“Yes, of course. I wouldn’t go back on my word.”

“All right.” He sighed softly. “I’ll accept the position you’ve offered, then.”

“I knew you would. You’re perfect for it, really.” She gave a smile, pulling a small folder from a drawer in her desk. She flipped through it once before handing it over to him. He took it with a shaky hand and a small smile.

“You’ll be taking office in the building Mr. Styles works at. Any other arrangements can be made once you’re there.”

“Right. Thank you.” This job would do him better. He’d be able to help more people. He’d be able to chose who needed help and in the long term, help more in that sense. Maybe he wouldn’t be the one interacting with the humans directly, but he’d still be doing something.

Plus, he certainly wasn’t going to be as awful about it as Louis had been.

 

“Zayn!” Harry called out as soon as he walked through the building. “You took the job?”

“Yeah. I did.” He waved the folder, almost as if he felt the need to prove that he’d actually been given the position. He felt stupid as soon as he’d done it.

“Perfect. I knew you would.” Harry was grinning. “I’m the one who gets to run you through it since Ed isn’t in today.” Harry gave a little nod, making Zayn roll his eyes. Their friendship was his favorite. He loved Harry more than he’d ever admit out loud.

“All right, then. Lead the way.”

“Well, you know I’m not allowed to talk about these types of things to people who aren’t directly involved in the field, so you’re probably going to learn a lot more than you knew before. Especially since Louis was the one doing it – and he really did slack on his job.” Zayn frowned. He didn’t like surprises. “No, no sadness now. They’re good additions!”

“Well. Don’t leave me hanging, then.”

“Right. Well, first of all. You can spend as much time on earth as you deem fit. No one can tell you if you’re spending too little or too much time there, as long as you pull in at least one case every six months and give viable reason for being where you chose to be.” He flipped through the folder again, pursing his lips like he was trying to think. “You do, however, have to write reports and reccomendations for whoever you think is fit to observe the human who you decide needs help. It’s quite a bit of paperwork, but you’ll definitely get help the first few times you have to go through it.” Pause. “That’s. Well. That’s actually it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. So. You can go with Liam. Be with your … human. Just do your job, right?”

“Thank you, Harry.” He was grinning like a fool. That much he could already tell just by the beginning signs of an ache in his cheeks. He was so happy. He was so glad Harry was his best friend.

“No problem, Zayn. Also, you can get a new home if you’d like! Outside of the watcher district.”

“Maybe. I’ll come back and decide later.”

“Tell Liam I say, ‘hi’!”

 

So he returned to Earth. He wished he could say that everything felt different with Louis being gone – with having the job that he’d wanted for so many years. But nothing felt any different than it ever had. He could still go back to Liam – and he certainly did plan to, but he wasn’t entirely sure what there was to do next.

 

So he did what he knew he needed to do.

 

“So,” Liam said, sitting beside him in a restaurant neither of them had been to. “You um, wanted to talk?”

“Yeah. I guess… I owe you a little bit of an explanation don’t I?”

“I mean… I’m not sure I really believe in everything that you’re telling me, or that everything you’re saying even should be true. But at the same time, I don’t really have anything to prove you’re lying, either. So I don’t know what you would have to explain.”

“Yeah. Maybe. I’m sorry that it all got so exposed to you so quickly. I hadn’t meant for it to really ever be told to you. It’s um – really unbelievable. Thank you for not completely abandoning me and calling me insane.”

“I still love you, Zayn. There isn’t much else I can say. It’s not like you’re any different than you were when I first met you.”

“Thank you.”

 

They went home together that night, Zayn holding tightly onto _his_ human because he knew that he wouldn’t be able to have these moments forever. Even with the everlasting promise that they would be once again reunited after Liam’s death, he didn’t want to imagine that Liam would grow old and he would change and Zayn would remain looking twenty years old for the rest of his life.

They were the same thoughts he’d had since he first fell in love with Liam. But now that he knew he could see him again, maybe they were dimmed.

“I love you.” Liam whispered into his ear that night, his voice heavy with sleep. Zayn knew he had never been happier. Liam, human or not, was the best thing that had happened to him.

“I love you too.”

 

 

 

 

LIAM

 

"Zayn?" Liam asked, their hands together, fingers wound between each other.

"Yes, love?" He paused a moment, taking his hand away from the other man. He'd claimed that this was to be just a simple walk in the park, in a little place that he'd found himself going to on runs in the mornings. It was one of his favorite places and Zayn shared that love of it. He took a deep breath before pulling away just a few inches and getting down on his knee, hands shaking as he watched Zayn's eyebrows raise. 

"Zayn Malik, would you marry me?" There was silence on the other end, Liam's heart pounding in his chest the only thing he could hear before Zayn was nodding his head and the tears were falling down his cheeks. 

"Yes, yes, yes of course I'll marry you. Oh my God." He placed the ring on his boy's finger, a simple golden band with three diamonds in the metal. The second he got up, Zayn's arms were wrapped tightly around him and he felt even closer to the man than he ever had before. "I love you."

"I love you too, Li-li." 

 

When they were home, he pressed Zayn against a wall, kissing him softly. "I wanna make love to you for the first time as my fiance."

"Mm, that sounds lovely. Remind me who I belong to, yeah?" Liam grinned. He loved when Zayn got like that - when he fell into that little area of his mind that let him be dominated. It was one of Liam's favorite things about having sex with Zayn; he rarely knew if Zayn was going to want to take control or if he was going to want to be taken control of. 

"I think you know exactly who you belong to, love." He moved to cup at his boys clothed cock, squeezing softly as he whispered the words lowly in his ear. "Don't you?" 

"Yeah - yeah. Course I do." They'd never really defined anything they did as a proper  _scene_ but whatever it was, it made them both happy. So he never felt the need to define it. 

"Prove it then, love. Get on your knees for me." 

"C'n we go to the room?" 

"Yeah, of course babe." He tangled their hands together once again and walked with the other man to his bedroom, pushing the door open and bringing Zayn inside with him. 

Zayn was on his knees without needing to be told again, fingers already fumbling with the zipper over Liam's half hard prick as he pulled the material away and took it in his hand. Without a word, his lips were around his cock and his hands were behind his back, clasped together. "That's my good boy. Look so pretty like that, babe, look so good taking my cock, hmm?" Zayn moaned at his words, the vibrations making Liam groan softly. He grabbed at Zayn's hair, pulling softly and watching his face, eyes closed as he focused. 

Liam really did love Zayn. He loved him more than anything. 

 

The years passed.

Some went by in what seemed like a blink of an eye and others dragged on, seeming like they'd never end. Yet Liam never found himself complaining. There was nothing in his life that could even begin to be a source of complaint. He had a beautiful husband, six digits of money in the bank at all times, and he was almost always happy. 

Liam found he was happiest when Zayn was at his side, even if there were times when the other man would be gone for weeks or even months on end. It was hard sometimes, but in the end they would always come back to each other and things would go back to how they had been before he was gone.

His business thrived. His stocks grew and everything was just… so much better. Zayn claimed it was the fact that he was now in control of his future, rather than the demon who had been controlling the odds before. He liked that explaination. It made a lot more sense than anything ever had. Maybe it was the fact that he no longer had to work ten hour days to make the same income he was making now with six or seven hour days.

His life was going in the exact direction he’d always dreamed for it to go.

 

But there were nights when he couldn’t really keep the thoughts of the future out of his head. It was one of those nights. “Zayn?” He asked to the man laying beside him. There was some kind of show playing on the television, something Zayn was interested in but he’d never really watched.

“Yeah?”

“What’s going to happen when I die?”

“We’ll stay together.” They’d had this talk enough times over the last half decade for Liam to know that much was true, be he always craved those details that Zayn never seemed entirely willing to give.

“How?”

“I made that deal with Aurora when Louis tried to kill you. She said if I turned him in and saved you, I could stay with you in the afterlife.” He was silent a while.

“What happens if I kill myself?”  Zayn finally looked over to him, then, eyebrows furrowed into a look of concern.

“You can’t. I – please don’t. Don’t give up your human life because you know there’s such thing as an afterlife. You’re wasting time you could be using to make more memories and friends and things that just come with being human.”

“Yeah.”

“Promise me you won’t, Liam. You won’t be treated with respect if you commit suicide. Plus, if you even misbehave once in the first few hundred years after suicide you can easily be sent down to hell. Please just. Live your life. When you die, you get to choose which age you appear as to everyone else. Don’t do it for me.”

“Okay. I won’t. Promise.” Zayn smiled, squeezing his hand softly.

“Thank you.”

 

Every day they still went to the coffee shop in Liam’s work. Zayn often brought him food that he’d cooked and everything was exactly what he’d always dreamed of having after falling in love. They’d discussed adopting a child. It was something that they both decided that they wanted.

It was another year before Isabell came into their lives, a pretty six year old girl with brown eyes that looked almost exactly like Zayn’s. She was another highlight of Liam’s life.

 

He had his two favorite people by his side at almost every moment. Isabell got older. She was in high school before he was ready to watch his daughter grow up and Zayn cried at her middle school graduation.

Liam got older, too. Zayn celebrated his thirtieth birthday with him and his fortieth and even past that when he stopped wanting to admit his own age.

They both gladly attended Isabell’s college graduation – shortly after which Zayn had explained why he never aged to her. There were a lot more tears than he thought he’d ever want to see from his daughter, but in the end she understood and everything was good.

Liam was happy.

As the years went on, Zayn couldn’t change how he appeared since he’d died at twenty, but Liam didn’t mind too much. People often referred to him as his son when they saw him together, and it wasn’t such a terrible thing. Zayn was around more as he figured out the odds and ends of his job and how to do it. He’d mastered finding who needed what and when and the amount of time that he’d been gone was lessened, much to Liam’s happiness.

 

It was an odd thing for Liam to wake up to an empty bed. But three weeks after his forty second birthday, six months after he and Zayn’s twenty sixth anniversary, he did. Zayn was no where to be seen, the house empty and silent. His daughter was staying over for a few days, just visiting since it had been a while since they’d seen each other. But he knew she liked to sleep in, so he didn’t think anything of it.

 

He got up slowly, walking to the kitchen and starting his coffee maker like he did every morning. There was no note from Zayn, no sign that he’d left that morning. He wasn’t sure where he could have gone, but knowing that he was typically a worrier, he decided not to over think it.

“Morning.” He heard from the top of the stairs, turning with a smile.

“Good morning sweet heart. Did you sleep alright?”  
“Yeah. I slept fine. Where’s dad?” She’d always had the habit of calling both of them dad, sometimes leading to not knowing who she was talking about, but it was rare now that she was older.

“I’m not sure. He’ll probably be back soon. Want some coffee?”

“Please.” He poured her a cup, sighing happily.  

“I was thinking we could go out to that Thai place for lunch today. Sound good?” He asked, taking the cups now filled with warm coffee, he made his way to the dining room when everything suddenly felt very warm, and it all went black.

“Dad?!” It was a frantic scream from his daughter, her panic easily heard in her voice. But all he could feel was tired. He couldn’t stay awake.

With a gasp, he woke in a new setting. Everything around him was blindingly white and he winced as his eyes adjusted. He found himself alone, staring at the blank walls and empty area around him. “Hello?” He called out after a long while, voice shaky as he hoped someone would come for him.

He had no idea where he was.

“Hi, Liam.” A woman walked through the door, taking a seat at one of the chairs across from him. “I’m Aurora. I understand this might be hard for you to understand and cope with, but you’ve passed away in your human life and now have come to the afterlife.” She had a soft voice that calmed him slightly, even if he was still terrified. “After watching you during your life, we’ve decided to assign you as a watcher – a job similar to a guardian angel.”

“Um.” He wasn’t sure how to respond.

“It’s alright. You don’t have anything to be afraid of. You’ll be given a tour by your new boss shortly, and then you’ll have a week to settle in before you’re to begin your duties.”

“I, um.”

“I’ve got to go. You can come to me with anything you might need and I’ll gladly help you.”

“Okay.” He choked out after a moment, watching as the door closed behind her. He was alone again and had no idea when this tour was supposed to take place or what was supposed to even be toured. Was this supposed to be heaven? He’d always imagined Heaven was supposed to be some kind of paradise, not a place where he’d have to continue working for the rest of eternity.

“Hello, Liam. I’m Zayn.” A man walked in through the door, closing it behind him. He had a big, warm smile that made him feel oddly… at home. “I’ll be showing you around here.” The beautiful man with the chocolate brown eyes and soft smile said, taking his hand and shaking it.

 

They left the room and made eye contact another time. Zayn’s eyebrows furrowed and Liam suddenly felt faint. “You alright?”

“A bit overwhelmed.”

“I understand. I was, too.” He gave a sympathetic smile. “Come on, your house is right next to mine. I think we’ll be good friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhh don't hate me? I might write an alternative ending as a one shot - would you all like that?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Let me know what you think is going to happen, yell at me, come say hi, ask for advice, show me pictures of your cat, anything. 
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on tumblr [here](http://futurxhearts.tumblr.com/) or twitter [here](https://twitter.com/alex_4968) (Twitter is for writing updates only).


End file.
